I've decided that today's blog is going to be about my current struggles because I believe I'm not the only one who is going through them. So this world we live in is overly sexualised causing a lot of men and women to fall. As we all know we live in a "mans world" where half dressed women are on billboards, tv commercials, sexual innuendos in our tv shows, music, pornography and movies. Women are used as sexual objects and our senses of what is right and wrong are being dulled all the time.
As little girls grow up in this overly sexualised world they are subliminally being told through media that they need to look a certain way to attract their Prince Charming, be skinny, wear shorter and sexier clothing, that they must wear makeup and act a certain way to ensure they are chosen over the next young lady. As we continue to grow the media continue to feed us these images and expectations all while our once heard fairy tale stories as children told us that Prince Charming would come in and swoop us up off our feet, marry us and never leave or betray us. Do you see how these two messages we are fed completely mess up a young woman's self image?
As a Christian wife who has recently been awoken to the struggles our Christian husbands and brothers in Christ struggle with on the daily basis I've began to feel inadequate, like I cannot live up to keeping my man in this fallen world we live in.
Now, I know that these insecurities and fears are not from God and that my identity is to be found in Christ my Lord and Saviour and NOT in earthly things. My identity runs much much deeper than my outwardly appearance and I understand that it is the mans job to stay pure through Christ who gives him strength but honestly, how are our Christian men ever suppose to stay pure in this world? How are we Christian women ever meant to feel safe, secure and enough for our husbands when they have temptation surrounding them every where they go. Sometimes in the forms of pornography, tv shows/movies, advertisements, billboards, catalogues/magazines, scantily dressed women and women whom are just game enough to confront our men trying to tempt them to lust and fall.
How do we Godly women stand a chance? We can make sure we are praying regularly for our husbands purity, meet our husbands sexual and other needs, dress nicely, uplift him as much as we can, we can allow him to lead as God intended, cook, clean etc but yet that still won't stop a man caught up in the traps of sexual sin from falling...
Where does that leave us women? In general us ladies don't deal with the daily struggles men have to however, once our eyes have been opened to our spouses struggles we then can become deflated, like we will never be enough for them. I'm battling with this at the moment. I realise that my eyes need to be set on God for my own affirmation, not on my husband. I understand that I need to have lower expectations of him, I understand logically that my husband will never be able to fill my God spot and that my security comes from Christ, I understand the importance of Grace in all our relationships but sadly in one sense it seems that women are having to accept a lot more than men in the area of sexual sin. Our men generally aren't having to worry about where our love and dedication lies. We aren't usually putting them in a place to question our commitment. I understand there are other areas in our lives where a man has to have a level of grace and forgiveness for our mistakes so I'm not saying we are any better, I'm just saying this is not a level men are generally going to have concern for with their wives. Not only do we deal with knowing our husbands will struggle with sexual purity and the impact that can and does have on us but we also struggle with our own sexuality and self worth because of the world we live in. It's a double edged sword.
MEN LISTEN UP! When you look at a woman doing the long drawn out stare or the double take, fantasise about other women, watch porn, look at magazines or pictures of scantily dressed or nude women, talk to other women inappropriately on and offline, talk about other women, commit adultery YOU ARE BREAKING YOUR WIFE'S HEART! Also you are breaking your vows and your commitment to God. You are sending a message to your apparent loved one that they aren't good enough! You are telling them that they will never be able to fulfil your needs, that they aren't attractive enough and that you will always choose your sinful tool over them.
I will also say that there are some women who struggle with sexual sin so I do want to acknowledge that for the faithful men who are facing such devastations in their marriages and I truly want to say that I pray God heals your broken heart and that Jesus will come and uplift you in your sorrow. This blog however, is from a woman's point of view and the many struggles we have to face in this sinful world.
God intended for a husband and wife to come together and be joined for life. God knew that man was lonely without a woman in the garden of Eden. He also knew that in this fallen world man would need a wife as a helper, lover and friend. God also knew the importance of sexual intimacy between a husband and wife as the more a husband and wife find their intimacy in one another ONLY the deeper the connection would become and the LESS likely a man would be caught up in sexual sin. Problem is, when a mans already been allowing that sinful sexual stuff into his life, the bond between himself, God and his wife and or future wife becomes diminished and opens him up to the devastation's sexual sin brings. Sexual sin not only affects the man, it affects his relationship with God and truly puts a strain on his marriage, sometimes to the point of no return. The price of all sin is death! Only through Christ can we be reunited with our Heavenly Daddy in our long walk of faith.
Today I don't have the answer to my above issues besides seeking out God through the Bible, prayer, being in a good church home, being connected to other Christians and through praise and worship. So I will keep you posted as I continue to confront these areas in my life with God. Ephesians is a great section of the bible to read in regards to our identity in Christ and it also talks about our interactions and relationships with others. I have read it in the past but I believe I need a refresher so I will keep you posted in these areas of my progress.
It's important to know that we were hand picked by our Heavenly Father and that we were beautifully and wonderfully made in his image and that we are loved and adored all the days of our life. That no matter how we see ourselves or others choose to see us, God will always see us as precious and beautiful. Who are we going to trust? Man who is fallen or our gracious God who created us? I know I want to choose my Heavenly Daddy!
God Bless,
A Godly wife wanting a Godly life!
Picture provided above comes from:
http://www.gofbw.com/SpecialReports.asp?ID=135
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