July 29th 2007, 6 years ago to date I married the man of my dreams. The man I shared many hopes and dreams with for our future together. We were married in a courthouse with close friends near by. We didn't have much money but we had an overwhelming amount of love for one another. As I reflect back on the 6 years of marriage there have been many highs and sadly, many lows but today is about celebration. Today signifies victory over past hurts, it signifies oneness. For me, it's about setting aside all the disappointments, stripping it all back to my husband, Christ and I. Today is a day to not only acknowledge the commitment we made 6 years ago but it's also about acknowledging Jesus and what he has done for us. I'm so great full for my husband and the many lessons learned from having him in my life. Some things I wished we wouldn't of had to of learnt the hard way but through trials brings strength, perseverance and a building of ones character.
1 year ago to date, we renewed our vows on our 5 year anniversary in beautiful Hawaii but only this time we had the wedding I desired with family members from both sides and loved ones to bare witness. I had the beautiful dress and the dashing Prince Charming to go with it. This time there was a Pastor present as we said our vows re affirming our commitment to God and one another restoring the covenant that at the time had been broken. It was such a beautiful day.
As you maybe aware from previous blogs, our marital journey has been far from a walk in the park but we are still standing firm united. We get knocked down by the waves and thunderstorms of life but God helps us rise back up on to our feet each and every time. Did you know without God this marriage would have headed straight for divorce? That's right and that shakes me to my core knowing just how fragile we are. God has given us beauty from our ashes and not that we are completely through it all but we are mighty close.
Sometime ago I read a Christian book on healing and restoration and in that book it said:
"Isn't it caring and right for God to improve your character? We are his after all. Besides, marriage was never all about you. What if God needs to change your husband by making him struggle through these problems with you? Is it not fair for God to ask you to serve him this way after everything he's done for you? We aren't truly a marriage of three until we accept his higher ways of thinking on marriage."
As you can imagine this spoke volumes to me in our season of brokenness but not only that it has given me a revelation on marriage in its entirety. You see, we usually get married based on feelings. You hear many people say "we are so inlove". As you grow, learn and endure hard times and we all will go through them at some stage we begin to learn that love isn't just about a feeling because feelings change. Love is about doing. It's a verb. The problem is that many people when faced with hard times say things like "I've fallen out of love with them". True love is a choice. It's sacrificial like the love Jesus has for us.
I can honestly say that our love for one another, our commitment has been tested in many ways and at times I've felt unloved due to his actions and I'm sure in some way he has felt the same and this is why we don't build ourselves up on feelings or each other. Our identity is found in Christ. As much as we love each other, we will never be able to fill the hole that is within us that longs to be loved and accepted simply because only God can fill that spot.
Marriage can be beautiful but it is not a fairy tale. It reminds me of a beautiful mosaic window. Little intricut pieces of broken glass put together to create a thing of beauty and with Gods healing hands, marriages like my own that have been bent, stretched and broken can be put back together only this time in Gods ordained order creating that beautiful mosaic window.
Anyway, my husband is my life partner and there is still so much to thank God for in the midst of pain and today I celebrate along side my husband enjoying the calmness of the ocean on our very special day!
Happy 6th Anniversary to such an incredible God fearing man. Thank you for allowing me to share many experiences with you. Thank you for loving me when I've been unloveable. Thank you for going the distance to become the man God intended you to be. Thank you for loving God and loving me! I love you handsome.
God Bless,
A Joyful Heart
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