Happy Anniversary!

                       

July 29th 2007, 6 years ago to date I married the man of my dreams. The man I shared many hopes and dreams with for our future together. We were married in a courthouse with close friends near by. We didn't have much money but we had an overwhelming amount of love for one another. As I reflect back on the 6 years of marriage there have been many highs and sadly, many lows but today is about celebration. Today signifies victory over past hurts, it signifies oneness. For me, it's about setting aside all the disappointments, stripping it all back to my husband, Christ and I. Today is a day to not only acknowledge the commitment we made 6 years ago but it's also about acknowledging Jesus and what he has done for us. I'm so great full for my husband and the many lessons learned from having him in my life. Some things I wished we wouldn't of had to of learnt the hard way but through trials brings strength, perseverance and a building of ones character. 

1 year ago to date,  we renewed our vows on our 5 year anniversary in beautiful Hawaii but only this time we had the wedding I desired with family members from both sides and loved ones to bare witness. I had the beautiful dress and the dashing Prince Charming to go with it. This time there was a Pastor present as we said our vows re affirming our commitment to God and one another restoring the covenant that at the time had been broken. It was such a beautiful day. 

As you maybe aware from previous blogs, our marital journey has been far from a walk in the park but we are still standing firm united. We get knocked down by the waves and thunderstorms of life but God helps us rise back up on to our feet each and every time. Did you know without God this marriage would have headed straight for divorce? That's right and that shakes me to my core knowing just how fragile we are. God has given us beauty from our ashes and not that we are completely through it all but we are mighty close. 

Sometime ago I read a Christian  book on healing and restoration and in that book it said:

"Isn't it caring and right for God to improve your character? We are his after all. Besides, marriage was never all about you. What if God needs to change your husband by making him struggle through these problems with you? Is it not fair for God to ask you to serve him this way after everything he's done for you? We aren't truly a marriage of three until we accept his higher ways of thinking on marriage."

As you can imagine this spoke volumes to me in our season of brokenness but not only that it has given me a revelation on marriage in its entirety. You see, we usually get married based on feelings. You hear many people say "we are so inlove". As you grow, learn and endure hard times and we all will go through them at some stage we begin to learn that love isn't just about a feeling because feelings change. Love is about doing. It's a verb. The problem is that many people when faced with hard times say things like "I've fallen out of love with them". True love is a choice. It's sacrificial like the love Jesus has for us. 

I can honestly say that our love for one another, our commitment has been tested in many ways and at times I've felt unloved due to his actions and I'm sure in some way he has felt the same and this is why we don't build ourselves up on feelings or each other. Our identity is found in Christ. As much as we love each other, we will never be able to fill the hole that is within us that longs to be loved and accepted simply because only God can fill that spot. 

Marriage can be beautiful but it is not a fairy tale. It reminds me of a beautiful mosaic window. Little intricut pieces of broken glass put together to create a thing of beauty and with Gods healing hands, marriages like my own that have been bent, stretched and broken can be put back together only this time in Gods ordained order creating that beautiful mosaic window. 

Anyway, my husband is my life partner and there is still so much to thank God for in the midst of pain and today I celebrate along side my husband enjoying the calmness of the ocean on our very special day! 

Happy 6th Anniversary to such an incredible God fearing man. Thank you for allowing me to share many experiences with you. Thank you for loving me when I've been unloveable. Thank you for going the distance to become the man God intended you to be. Thank you for loving God and loving me! I love you handsome. 

God Bless,

A Joyful Heart

Changing Roles

          

Today's post is simply about something that has happened recently in my life and boy it's a miracle. It's just some of the over flow from my husband and I handing our lives back over to Gods very capable hands. I know, our lives were never our own but it's funny how sometimes we can try to pretend like they are and that we have a handle on things haha. Anyway, if you've been reading my blog from the start you maybe aware that my husband and I have been going through a really rough season these past 10 months, all though things are becoming more settled only through the grace of God. For the past week my husband has begun to like cooking! I know it seems so small and not worth acknowledging but if you really knew my husband you'd know that this is a MIRACLE. He and I have always been food lovers in the eating sense but lately my husband has found joy in cooking. It started out at his work where he would bake cookies and cakes for the children but he would bring me one home most times because he knew I would enjoy it. Then just two days ago he decided that he wanted to cook dinner and dessert and of course as the main food provider I was more than happy to have a break from standing over the stove. It's really not important as to what he cooked but that he is doing it simply because he had a revelation of what it means to be like Christ is to the church. There has been a clear message in all the sermons he has been listening to recently about roles within a marriage and what it truly means to be a leader within a household. The bible states that husbands are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands. My husbands revelation is truly showing his deep love for Christ and for me. He's serving me, showing me acts of kindness and not just because he wants something out of it but simply because he wants me to feel appreciated and loved. He's also seen what price Jesus had to pay for his sins and realises just how much he has to be thankful for. He's not the only one that has had a revelation. Through his acts of kindness I've experienced what it means to be a daughter of the most high. An heir to the throne. My heart has experienced a new level of healing through his willingness to be selfless. I'm so appreciative for my husband and I have gained a new level of respect for him. Not for the act itself but the intent in his heart. You see men, you treat your lady like royalty and not just for some twisted sense of self gain, it will pay off!

I will say that the meals were absolutely stunning! Amazing tasting foods. It's become a new hobby as he's been cooking the last 2 days and plans to cook tonight. 

I'm just so thankful for the growth in the both of us. My husband is my treasure sent from heaven as well and I'm thankful that God could see what amazing potential my husband and I had and deemed us worth saving. Thank You Jesus!

God Bless, 

Fit for a Princess!

Adventures To Be Had

Hey everyone, so it's been a few days since my last blog because my husband and I have been in deep discussion about the future, our desires and plans. One thing you need to know about us is that we LOVE to travel. I mean it! We absolutely love to travel. We have been quite a few places together and separately in our lives and since children are currently not in our plans as we are waiting on God's timing in this area we've decided to take advantage of this time we have. As you may know from previous blogs, my husband and I have been in a REALLY rough season of our lives this past year and it's coming up to our 1 year anniversary in September of when things began to spiral out of control for us. We have had some extreme lows, we've had to face some seriously ugly truths and we have had to rely 100% on God to heal us and bring us through this season to full restoration. It has been tough! What I can say is that we both now feel like we need a season of FUN. A season to make new memories together. To rebuild our marriage from the brokenness it had to endure and it's only through Christ that this is even possible. So, we have decided to pack up our house, rent it out, sell one of our cars and begin a new adventure! We are both so excited!! 

At the beginning of this painful season I wanted so badly to just run away and escape my troubles however, my husband and I were given wise counsel to not make any rash decisions for 12 months and to grin and bare it. You see had we of left when I wanted to, we wouldn't have faced the demons in our closet and we would have carried the ugliness around with us so I'm definitely thankful and proud that we stuck to the healing journey because now that it is time to pack up for an adventure my conscience is clear. I know that we aren't doing it to escape anything. I realise no matter where we go this season will always exist in our past but it no longer has to control my present and future so this is why it's time to start making new, beautiful memories together. Putting ourselves out there to experience the wonders of the world. So, the plan is to do a working holiday throughout Australia! I know right!?! How amazing!

The other thing we've had a recent revelation of is that we will be like missionaries, travelling around and having the opportunity to spread the Gospel and share our testimonies  all for the benefit of our Heavenly Father. All though we will not be attending our home church we will have the opportunity to experience many others throughout Australia and when we are out of reach in the outback we will have podcasts and of course our bibles. I will keep you posted a long the way as we go as I believe that this blog will become the place we share testimonies of the people we come in contact with etc. 

As for now though, it's just a lot of organising ahead. You know, selling the car, getting the house up to scratch and putting it on the rental market, finding work (which we've already got a pretty good idea of the jobs we want to work) and getting some finances behind us. I'm sure it will take us all the way to September just to get things some what organised but nevertheless it's all very exciting.

If I go a little quiet for a while just know that it's because I maybe painting walls or organising things for our trip. 

God Bless,

Adventure Warrior!

Riding the Highs

 

For the last two days I've been out of the ugly rut of the current season Im in and it's been fantastic! My husband and I have been spending quality time bonding, going for walks and communicating extremely well all thanks to our loving God. Honestly, none of this would be possible if it weren't for Jesus! He has the power to restore all that was broken, my husband and I are walking, living proof. I don't have much to blog on today because I'm honestly just enjoying each and every moment that comes my way. I pray that you are all finding joy no matter the season you're in. Know that you can have joy even through trials and in suffering when you look to The Lord for comfort and guidance. Sometimes we can lose sight of that but keep your focus on God and he will get you through all of it. You just have to have FAITH!

God Bless,

A new creation! 

Who Am I?

Co Campbell - Conquerer

Today I've decided to sit down and ask myself the hard questions I've never had to confront before such as; who am I? What are my hopes and dreams for the future? With life's losses, how will I move forward to the best life I can have? What are my goals and aspirations? 

The previous post was about being a "Godly wife in an UnGodly world" which is the cause of today's post. With insecurities and fears flooding my world I've lost perspective of who I am. When my marriage life was fine or at least not as drained as it is now I was full of love, life and laughter. I was confident and I enjoyed what life had to offer however, since the tsunami hit my marriage front I've been tossed around in the waves. I've lost perspective, I've lost my confidence, I've lost my love for life and all it has to offer. It's as if the tsunami swept in and stole my joy, stole my confidence and it seems it stole my hope for the future. Who am I? And where did I go? 

I understand as a Christian I should be able to confront life's issues with "hope" insight and that my life shouldn't look similar to the non believer because of God's amazing grace. However, some of life's tsunamis can truly knock us off our feet to the point where we lose perspective. I've been knocked down but I will not stay down. You see that's the difference, non believers may not dust themselves off and get back up because honestly what do they have left to get back up for? When you are facing lifes trials as a believer you have strength that goes far beyond yourself, you become resilient through Christ who gives you strength. 

So, who am I? Well, I'm a believer. I'm a precious child of God. I am his princess. I am his image bearer. I am a Saint. I am forgiven. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I am accepted. I am gracious. I am loved. I am a wife, daughter and sister. I am a friend to many.  I'm learning that I'm valued and valuable to God. I'm learning that I have many emotions but they are not who I am. They are expressions that can be controlled. I am ME!

I'm adjusting to my new not so "fairytale" life. I'm learning to accept that people don't always live up to our expectations and that's okay because we are all human and we all stumble and fall at times.

What are my hopes and dreams for my new life? My hopes and dreams are that through this life altering experience I come out in a much closer relationship with my Heavenly Daddy and my husband in a bond that cannot be broken. I hope that I will be able to stand firm in my identity in Christ no matter what life throws at me as I will not be easily pushed or shoved in any direction. I hope to be full of joy, love and compassion for others and myself. 

How will I move forward? Well, one small step or crawl at a time keeping my eyes set on Jesus. If I get knocked down, I will get back up again. I will have this victory in Jesus name. I am not a victim, I am a survivor. 

What are my goals and aspirations? To live out the best and most fulfilling life I can that glorifies my God. I want the marriage I have always desired and I will not take anything less because Jesus knows the desires of my heart and the suffering I've had to endure and he knows what's best for me. I want my children that has been promised. I will not let those who've hurt me steal the desires of my heart.

This morning I woke to anxiety, fear and insecurities about going out into this big bad world and being afraid that everything I've ever worked hard for was destroyed by others sinful choices but then it hit me. I haven't lost anything. In fact, those people who were trying to steal my joy are "bottom feeders". 

"Bottom feeders will always try and eat up all the crumbs of your lunch. They may get a nibble or two but they will never have access to the whole buffet."

What I mean by this is that people may try to take things from you that are rightfully yours and they may sneak their way in a little but they can never have it all because it belongs to you. Like my marriage, it has been ordained by God and people and/or the enemy may want to destroy it or take from it and they may successfully get in through a small crack but they will not be able to destroy it simply because it's in Gods hands and now built on a firm foundation. I think the important thing I need to remember is that a person willing to take the crumbs obviously has a low self worth or Christ worth and really needs my compassion and grace. I can show grace because I've been shown grace. I will stand united with my husband on the front line looking up to God for direction and we will survive this fall. 

So who am I? Well, I'm a woman growing in leaps and bounds who still has fears but will not let them rule over me through Christ who gives me strength.

God Bless You!



Finding my way back to ME!

Godly Wife in an Un-Godly world!

I've decided that today's blog is going to be about my current struggles because I believe I'm not the only one who is going through them. So this world we live in is overly sexualised causing a lot of men and women to fall. As we all know we live in a "mans world" where half dressed women are on billboards, tv commercials, sexual innuendos in our tv shows, music, pornography and movies. Women are used as sexual objects and our senses of what is right and wrong are being dulled all the time. 

As little girls grow up in this overly sexualised world they are subliminally being told through media that they need to look a certain way to attract their Prince Charming, be skinny, wear shorter and sexier clothing, that they must wear makeup and act a certain way to ensure they are chosen over the next young lady. As we continue to grow the media continue to feed us these images and expectations all while our once heard fairy tale stories as children told us that Prince Charming would come in and swoop us up off our feet, marry us and never leave or betray us. Do you see how these two messages we are fed completely mess up a young woman's self image? 

As a Christian wife who has recently been awoken to the struggles our Christian husbands and brothers in Christ struggle with on the daily basis I've began to feel inadequate, like I cannot live up to keeping my man in this fallen world we live in. 

Now, I know that these insecurities and fears are not from God and that my identity is to be found in Christ my Lord and Saviour and NOT in earthly things. My identity runs much much deeper than my outwardly appearance and I understand that it is the mans job to stay pure through Christ who gives him strength but honestly, how are our Christian men ever suppose to stay pure in this world? How are we Christian women ever meant to feel safe, secure and enough for our husbands when they have temptation surrounding them every where they go. Sometimes in the forms of pornography, tv shows/movies, advertisements, billboards, catalogues/magazines, scantily dressed women and women whom are just game enough to confront our men trying to tempt them to lust and fall. 

How do we Godly women stand a chance? We can make sure we are praying regularly for our husbands purity, meet our husbands sexual and other needs, dress nicely, uplift him as much as we can, we can allow him to lead as God intended, cook, clean etc but yet that still won't stop a man caught up in the traps of sexual sin from falling... 

Where does that leave us women? In general us ladies don't deal with the daily struggles men have to however, once our eyes have been opened to our spouses struggles we then can become deflated, like we will never be enough for them. I'm battling with this at the moment. I realise that my eyes need to be set on God for my own affirmation, not on my husband. I understand that I need to have lower expectations of him, I understand logically that my husband will never be able to fill my God spot and that my security comes from Christ, I understand the importance of Grace in all our relationships but sadly in one sense it seems that women are having to accept a lot more than men in the area of sexual sin. Our men generally aren't having to worry about where our love and dedication lies. We aren't usually putting them in a place to question our commitment. I understand there are other areas in our lives where a man has to have a level of grace and forgiveness for our mistakes so I'm not saying we are any better, I'm just saying this is not a level men are generally going to have concern for with their wives. Not only do we deal with knowing our husbands will struggle with sexual purity and the impact that can and does have on us but we also struggle with our own sexuality and self worth because of the world we live in. It's a double edged sword. 

MEN LISTEN UP! When you look at a woman doing the long drawn out stare or the double take, fantasise about other women, watch porn, look at magazines or pictures of scantily dressed or nude women, talk to other women inappropriately on and offline, talk about other women, commit adultery YOU ARE BREAKING YOUR WIFE'S HEART! Also you are breaking your vows and your commitment to God. You are sending a message to your apparent loved one that they aren't good enough! You are telling them that they will never be able to fulfil your needs, that they aren't attractive enough and that you will always choose your sinful tool over them. 

I will also say that there are some women who struggle with sexual sin so I do want to acknowledge that for the faithful men who are facing such devastations in their marriages and I truly want to say that I pray God heals your broken heart and that Jesus will come and uplift you in your sorrow. This blog however, is from a woman's point of view and the many struggles we have to face in this sinful world. 

God intended for a husband and wife to come together and be joined for life. God knew that man was lonely without a woman in the garden of Eden. He also knew that in this fallen world man would need a wife as a helper, lover and friend. God also knew the importance of sexual intimacy between a husband and wife as the more a husband and wife find their intimacy in one another ONLY the deeper the connection would become and the LESS likely a man would be caught up in sexual sin. Problem is, when a mans already been allowing that sinful sexual stuff into his life, the bond between himself, God and his wife and or future wife becomes diminished and opens him up to the devastation's sexual sin brings. Sexual sin not only affects the man, it affects his relationship with God and truly puts a strain on his marriage, sometimes to the point of no return. The price of all sin is death! Only through Christ can we be reunited with our Heavenly Daddy in our long walk of faith. 

Today I don't have the answer to my above issues besides seeking out God through the Bible, prayer, being in a good church home, being connected to other Christians and through praise and worship. So I will keep you posted as I continue to confront these areas in my life with God. Ephesians is a great section of the bible to read in regards to our identity in Christ and it also talks about our interactions and relationships with others. I have read it in the past but I believe I need a refresher so I will keep you posted in these areas of my progress. 

It's important to know that we were hand picked by our Heavenly Father and that we were beautifully and wonderfully made in his image and that we are loved and adored all the days of our life. That no matter how we see ourselves or others choose to see us, God will always see us as precious and beautiful. Who are we going to trust? Man who is fallen or our gracious God who created us? I know I want to choose my Heavenly Daddy! 

God Bless, 

A Godly wife wanting a Godly life!

Picture provided above comes from: 

http://www.gofbw.com/SpecialReports.asp?ID=135