A Fresh Start

Today marks the end the the book of my old life and I'm so glad this is so. You see most people experience the end of a chapter but continue on in the same book but for us God completely threw out the old book, covered it with Jesus blood and gave us a new one to start a fresh in. So not only does today mark the end of an old book but it also marks the beginning of a new one.... 

My husband and I have a brand new book to write a new story for our lives in. Our marriage has been blessed by Jesus himself and I sense that He is moving in our marriage and our lives together and individually very quickly. I sense that we will see HUGE changes very shortly and that God is going to take us all over the world helping the lost and sharing our testimony. I believe our lives and our marriage is going to be fruitful and start blossoming like a tree coming out in Spring. 

Jesus, let the story be a good one and I'll continue to keep you first in my life and in my marriage! Please bless my dearly beloved husband in abundance and keep his eyes and heart set on you all the days of his life. Continue to strengthen him and show him his worth in you. I'm so blessed that both my husband and I have been made new and that my husband is an honourable, faithful and free man who love Jesus. I love you Jesus too!

Thank you for EVERYTHING! You are the best and I cannot wait to see how our lives play out from this day forth. My life is no longer my own, it's yours Jesus and it's truly in your safe hands. I LOVE YOU!

Signing Off,

Fresh Start and New Beginnings 

Taking Back The Rainbow

Today is a day that marks the change of marriage in the eyes of the world BUT to God marriage is still between one man and one woman. I stand for the biblical view of marriage.

We are called to love people as Jesus loves them but that doesn't mean we have to agree with their lifestyle choices. Jesus loves you and he came to save us ALL from sin. Homosexuality is no greater sin than adultery, fornication, lying, stealing etc. You too can be forgiven and freed from those bondage's.

I also wanted to share the true meaning of the rainbow with you today!

It is a time where persecution of Christians is going to only increase as time persists. The closer we get to Jesus return the heavier that persecution will become. In some places of the world Christian brothers and sisters are being killed for their faith. If you are a true bible believing Christian, you know that these signs are in the word of God. Stand firm and do not waiver from Gods ways because it's truly the only way to heaven. Jesus loves you and I love you. 

Matthew 5:10 "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Sadly, by the passing of homosexual marriage it has opened the flood gates to other sins. There is now talk of pedophiles fighting for the right to marry children as it's apart of their sexual orientation.... Sin is sin people, none of us are void from it except Jesus but we all need to see it for what it truly is instead of allowing the world to put a diagnosis to it and claiming that it's just who they are. When we accept Jesus into our lives with sincerity the old me dies and the new rises up in Christ free from sin and condemnation, being purified daily through the power of The Holy Spirit. 

Be blessed family in these end times and stand firm in Christ Jesus. He is well worth being a soldier in his army for and with. 

Signing Off,

A Woman Taking A Stand.

Blessings From Above

                             (Google Image. Our babies looked similar to these two.)
   

Today I'd like to share with you all a bit about the miracle my husband and I have been waiting for, for almost 7 years now. 

As you may remember my very first post was called "Double the Trouble and Double the Fun!" (feel free to click the link to refresh your memory if needed).  Well, over these past 2.5 years of healing from adultery God has shown me that we will be blessed with twin baby boys that will biologically be ours. In fact he gave me this very image the same night my husband confessed his sins and I left our home for a time because I thought our marriage could not survive such a devastation. As I would cry myself to sleep in my exhaustion I had this vision of my husband lying on the grass at a park, our twin boys were about 2 to 3 years old and they were jumping on top of him wrestling. They were all giggling and having such a good time. Our dog Missy was running around them in circles and it was as if I was standing back watching from a distance and joy filled my heart and then I'd wake up. As I woke up, I'd realise I wasn't at my house and that the adultery wasn't a nightmare and I would yell at God asking him why he would show me this vision when I had left him and by worldly, scientific standards my husband was diagnosed as "infertile". Each and every night I would have this very same dream/vision time and time again until the last night I had a dream/vision of my husband and I being Christian marriage counsellors for other couples who were facing the same devastation and loss as we are and we were together. After I woke up from this vision I felt a deep presence of The Holy Spirit and I felt drawn to my husband like The Holy Spirit was dragging me home so I went home and we've been healing ever since...

Anyway, so within 6 months of our healing journey I felt that The Holy Spirit whispered in my heart that our babies would be conceived in July/August but I didn't know which year. Obviously I thought oh yeah, it'll be next year and I will be healed by then!! Oh I was naive... September 15th 2015 it will be 3 years since my husbands confession and still to date (26th of June 2015) I'm not pregnant but I believe in my heart that I will be very soon. You see along the way I've had amazing men and women of God who have shared visions with me over this very topic. As of most recent a sister in Christ had a vision of me in hospital holding my twins in my arms. About a month later a brother in Christ had a vision of me walking down the road in the community we live in and my stomach was HUGE and the children we look after were by my side. I've also sensed that before Jesus blesses us with our babies that we would need to return home to where it all begun for the final closure and God has made a way for us to return when financially it seemed impossible. There have been many more other signs along the way but I'd have to share even more detail about my life for it to make sense. We even began the IVF process the year before my husband confessed but deep within our spirit we felt God said NO very firmly so we didn't continue.

I know that I know, that I know, that I will be pregnant VERY soon! I full heartedly believe our twin baby blessing is coming soon and that it all lines up with God knowing what sins were being hidden in darkness and he was holding our baby blessing back until we had healed from adultery and until restoration has taken place. I'm so very excited that very soon  that God will be lending us two of his precious children to raise them up in the way of The Lord. I Praise God for his many blessings we are about to receive and that he saved us not only from divorce but also the both of us from the pit of hell. Honestly, if God never did anything more for us we still have been blessed in abundance with an eternal life in Heaven!! Thank you Jesus!! 

Keep an eye out on this space because I will post to let you know our pregnancy news shortly!! Believe it or not, it's coming! 

Signing Off,

Blessed Child of God!!

Surviving Adultery/Infidelity

Hi bloggers, 

Recently you may have noticed that I've been sharing a bit about the adultery that took place in my marriage and the healing my husband and I have had to endure. I wanted to share a link to a very special friend of mine who is another survivor of the devastation of infidelity that hit her marriage. You see, during the time my husband confessed I came across Tonya's blog about the infidelity that attacked her marriage and as broken as I was, it was so helpful to know that I wasn't alone. I felt it was a good time to post a link to her page in case your life has been hit with this tsunami and you don't know where to turn. I want to give you hope that you are not alone and that others have endured this before you including myself.  I personally didn't document like Tonya did but I did blog throughout the process as you will see if you go back to my very first blog in 2013. God wasn't telling me to outwardly share my testimony in a blog like he was with Tonya. The blog was more of a diary for me personally but as of more recent times God has shown me to be more direct with my blogs as I wasn't ready previously to come out and name the sin that had hit my marriage. If you go back over my blogs with knowing the adultery existed you will see my journey play out.

Throughout the bible you will see references to others who have committed adultery and Jesus has freed them and forgiven them from their sins. The other thing I really appreciate about Tonya's blog is that her husband (the one caught up in infidelity) shares a bit from his point of view and overcoming sexual sin through Christ Jesus. 

So, if you are the faithful spouse or the unfaithful spouse it is definitely worth reading through Tonya's blog series on Surviving Infidelity. I believe it will open the eyes of the unfaithful to the pain you have caused and truly show you the depth of hurt that your spouse maybe enduring but also the freedom in Jesus. For the faithful spouse you will spend hours sifting through Tonya's testimony and relating to almost every word. You will find comfort in knowing that you are not alone and you will find healing through Jesus through the many scriptures she provides. 

Follow the series closely and I believe God will bring restoration if it's meant to be, just like he did for my husband and I. 

Know that you are loved whether faithful or unfaithful and that what Jesus endured on the cross was for both of you so that you can live free from this devastation and find true healing.

We have all been unfaithful to God and we all have made mistakes. Jesus went to the cross because none of us are sinless but we can be redeemed and made new if we accept Jesus into our hearts. 

God bless you brothers and sisters, freedom is ahead!

Tonya's blog series: Surviving Infidelity

(Please click on the words "Surviving Infidelity" to go to her site.)

To The Other Women

To the women who played their role in committing adultery with my husband...........

I FORGIVE YOU! I have already forgiven my husband but now it's your turn. I also accept your apologies whether you are sorry or not because Jesus' blood covers ALL sins, yours included. You see the reason I can forgive you all is because Jesus first forgave me for my sins and took them on the cross. Forgiveness freed me from being tide down to you spiritually and emotionally. I will no longer allow you to have power over my life. You have no right to live rent free in my mind, emotionally abusing me with the visions of you with my dearly beloved husband. No longer will I allow the devil to use your sins to harm me and keep me trapped in bondages of insecurities and depression. You may have had a glimpse of my life by trying to make it your own but I now know you never took anything from me because all you got was the superficial front which had no depth to it and with every embrace with my husband you were hurting yourself, your family and your walk with Jesus. I at least know from my husbands point of view there was no depth to the time he spent with you. It was superficial and sin lead. I truly feel sorry for you that you felt that getting involved with a married man was the only way for you to feel a sense of love and wholeness that you weren't getting elsewhere, only to find out that it made you even more empty inside riddled with guilt and shame. 

I want to let you know that you are worth so much more than that. You are NOT a bottom feeder trying to eat up the crumbs of my marriage even though your actions said otherwise. You are a beautiful woman of God. You are created in his very image. God knows how many hairs are on your head and how many tears you have cried. He knows the desires of your heart and the hurts you have had to endure. JESUS LOVES YOU and I LOVE YOU TOO!! You are my sister in Christ who was lost, broken and being used by the devil himself. I pray for you ladies regularly for your salvation and that God heals your broken hearts and the damage done in your own relationships because deep down I know that this is not what you wanted for your life. I know that you didn't just wake up one day and say "I'm going to have an affair or commit adultery with a married man". I truly believe you are a kind hearted person who was hurting and looking for comfort and affection in all the wrong places only to have wound up in the arms of my beloved husband who was also broken. I realise what you were searching out in my husband and him in you couldn't fulfil either of you because only Jesus can fulfil those areas of your heart and God only blesses the marriage covenant not relationships outside of his perfect will. Your time with my husband was setup and arranged by the devil himself. As the bible says;

Ephesians 6:12 - "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

This very verse tells me that you aren't the issue for you were lost in sin with scales over your eyes put their by the enemy which you fell for his deceit. My fight is with the devil himself and honestly, I just need to stand firm and claim Jesus finished work on the cross because the devil himself has already been beaten.

I pray that through this turmoil you have learnt more about yourself and who you are to Jesus. You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I know that you may go through life with a painted smile on your face and to those on the outside you seem to have it all together but on the inside you are dying little bit by little bit and drowning in your own tears. I'm so sorry if this is where you are at or if you have experienced this in the past but know that through the adulterous acts you brought that very feeling into my life also. 

GOD RESTORED WHAT THE LOCUST HAD EATEN!

I can tell you now though that Jesus healed me completely and walked with me side by side through this healing journey. I'M HEALED!! Praise God. I wouldn't trade the closeness with my Heavenly Daddy I've experienced through this whole ordeal so thank you. It only drove me closer to Jesus, not further away. I can hold my head high knowing that I wasn't the unfaithful one in this marriage but we all have been unfaithful to Jesus and I've had to repent in this area also. I have found my true identity through this devastation and found my worth in Jesus. No longer do I feel less prettier than you because of yours and my husbands actions. You see for a while there what you and my husband did, it broke me and the enemy spoke ugly words in my head day in, day out telling me I wasn't pretty enough or worth being faithful too. These were LIES!! I must admit for a while I started to believe it but NOT ANYMORE! I'm free!! I pray you are never on the receiving end of a spouse cheating on you because once it happens only Jesus can breathe life back into a marriage torn apart by the devastations that come with sexual sin but know that it is possible not only to be alive but to thrive as well. I sure am! 

My heart is whole, I'm full of joy that cannot be taken away by life's ups and downs or the actions of others. I'M FREE and I pray you are too. 

Jesus died for you too. Not just the faithful spouse but for the adulterous one also. Jesus died for all sins so that we can be made right with our Heavenly Father so that we have everlasting life in Heaven. 

Have you accepted Jesus into your heart? Do you know what Jesus did for you on the cross? 

I no longer fear you and honestly, I just feel empathy for you now. When I think of you, I wonder whether you have accepted Jesus into your life and if you are walking out that faith in your life to the point where the sins of the past are no longer reoccurring in your life. I hope that the pain I had to endure from yours and my husbands sinful ways at least led you to search out God in your brokenness as it did for us. Know that you are precious to God.

THANK YOU that through this whole experience it has only driven my husband and I closer to one another and we no longer take our marriage covenant for granted. God used this experience to free my husband from sinful bondages that had him tied down to the pit of hell. He is free and is a faithful man to Jesus and to me now. I wouldn't trade that for anything. The old marriage is dead and buried but the new marriage covenant is spotless and beautiful in Jesus. I pray you have this now too.

I'm looking forward to our visit down South soon because I'm free and can face where it all took place. It's time for us to close the book of the past and start a fresh, I hope you have successfully done the same. It's amazing!!! Life is beautiful and so are we. 

Healed, Whole and Loved for eternity!!

Signing Off,

Faithful Servant of God!

Redemption From Adultery

For all those who know our testimony you will know that devastation hit us 2.5 years ago when my husband confessed that he had been committing adultery. It completely shattered my heart and I felt it smash into a million pieces and land on the floor that very day.. Looking back on how far we have come and the journey Jesus has had us on is remarkable to say the least. There has been so much healing that has taken place over the last few years, it's truly incredible. Our marriage was saved by Jesus himself. Without him we would have been another ugly marital statistic that ended up in divorce. That is not part of Gods plan. God didn't cause these things to happen, it was the enemy. He comes to kill, steal and destroy and let me tell you, he stole from me what was valuable. That very day my husband confessed the old me died and so did he. At the time it seemed that we would never come back from that devastation and that life would be meaningless and lost from that point forth. However, Jesus has been showing us that there is purpose to this life beyond our suffering and there is freedom in the finished work on the cross. Forgiveness has been so important in this process and just when you think you've forgiven everything something ugly will boil up inside of you that you need to take to the cross and forgive all over again. Forgiveness of such sin is like layers of an onion. Bit by bit The Holy Spirit allows a different layer to peal off allowing you to face it so that it can be dealt with. You see The Holy Spirit will not give you more than you can handle in the moment so he will allow things to surface gradually until there is no more left. 

Through this journey I have had to face my very own identity crisis, not knowing who I am and whether I was valuable because of my husbands actions. The lies of the enemy would tell me that I'm not worth being faithful too and that I wasn't pretty enough or the other women were sexier than I. I have to tell you, I started to believe it and it sunk so deeply in my heart that it created deep insecurities that only The Father could deal with. I have been focusing more and more on who I am in Christ and as I do this I've started to see my worth through Jesus eyes. I'm a beautiful child of God. I'm worth more to him than rubies and diamonds. I was and am worth dying for!! That's amazing when you realise that God sent his son to die JUST FOR YOU! Thank you Jesus for seeing the value in me even when I can't see it in myself. I also want those of you out there that have been dealt this ugly card that your spouse cheating is not your fault. It's truly not. It's another lie from the devil that we get caught up believing. "Maybe if you were more intimate he wouldn't have had to cheat on you etc..." It's all RUBBISH! I believe it's important to own our own mistakes in our relationships too and during this healing process it's such a great time to do a self analysis and own up the faults you may have played BUT in saying this THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR SOMEONE CHEATING! NONE! I didn't realise it but I had my husband in my God spot, I idolised the ground he walked on and my expectations of him were to be Jesus. I wasn't purposely doing this but thats the kind of pressure I had on him. No one can be Jesus, except Jesus! We are all sinners who have fallen short and need a saviour that's just the reality of it. My husband was so caught up in the sin of lust through pornography introduced to him at such a young age, that thing had him tied down in bondage and only Jesus could free him from that. It breaks my heart thinking of the many many lives out there caught in these very same traps... It's terrible but there is hope in Jesus...

I have to tell you God has had us on a journey living in the outback and caring for Indigenous children and has given me purpose beyond myself. We get to be like Jesus to these children each and every day and share the gospel with many. There are so many people who are hurting much more than I and who are much more lost than I and I tell you what, it so helps to put your eyes on Jesus and to help others whilst going through your storm. God has allowed my heart to heal in so many ways from the adultery but has also allowed my heart to break for the Aboriginal people here in Australia. Their lives are precious and it's our job to show them just how much they are loved. 

Well, it's now holiday time for the children and their families and God has shown me that it's time to return to the place where my devastation was laid upon me, back to the home state. I believe God is showing me that this is a necessary step, the last step to our healing journey before we can close the book and start a fresh. I tell you what, I have been so nervous, scared and fear driven these past few weeks leading up to this big step ahead of us BUT I know that fear is not from God because perfect love casts out all fear and God is LOVE. It's a tactic of the enemy because he wants me to back out and not follow through. Well, he's got another thing coming because we are going!!! I'm so thankful that my days are generally filled with joy for the most part. I won't lie to you, there are still the odd moments where I'm back, deep in it BUT it's not the same and it definitely doesn't last as long. I believe the day that I no longer feel any residual pain is the day I'm finally free and I know it's so so close!! THANK YOU JESUS! Please pray for my husband and I as we face this last hurdle that God will walk with us and guide our every step. That The Holy Spirit will protect my mind and that the angels with keep us safe and out of harms way. It's a time to rejoice because through Christ Jesus we have overcome the devils schemes of destruction and God rewards his faithful servants for standing firm through the trials we face. Praise God for our NEW lives in HIM! Amen

Signing Off,

Warrior Princess!