Surviving Adultery/Infidelity

Hi bloggers, 

Recently you may have noticed that I've been sharing a bit about the adultery that took place in my marriage and the healing my husband and I have had to endure. I wanted to share a link to a very special friend of mine who is another survivor of the devastation of infidelity that hit her marriage. You see, during the time my husband confessed I came across Tonya's blog about the infidelity that attacked her marriage and as broken as I was, it was so helpful to know that I wasn't alone. I felt it was a good time to post a link to her page in case your life has been hit with this tsunami and you don't know where to turn. I want to give you hope that you are not alone and that others have endured this before you including myself.  I personally didn't document like Tonya did but I did blog throughout the process as you will see if you go back to my very first blog in 2013. God wasn't telling me to outwardly share my testimony in a blog like he was with Tonya. The blog was more of a diary for me personally but as of more recent times God has shown me to be more direct with my blogs as I wasn't ready previously to come out and name the sin that had hit my marriage. If you go back over my blogs with knowing the adultery existed you will see my journey play out.

Throughout the bible you will see references to others who have committed adultery and Jesus has freed them and forgiven them from their sins. The other thing I really appreciate about Tonya's blog is that her husband (the one caught up in infidelity) shares a bit from his point of view and overcoming sexual sin through Christ Jesus. 

So, if you are the faithful spouse or the unfaithful spouse it is definitely worth reading through Tonya's blog series on Surviving Infidelity. I believe it will open the eyes of the unfaithful to the pain you have caused and truly show you the depth of hurt that your spouse maybe enduring but also the freedom in Jesus. For the faithful spouse you will spend hours sifting through Tonya's testimony and relating to almost every word. You will find comfort in knowing that you are not alone and you will find healing through Jesus through the many scriptures she provides. 

Follow the series closely and I believe God will bring restoration if it's meant to be, just like he did for my husband and I. 

Know that you are loved whether faithful or unfaithful and that what Jesus endured on the cross was for both of you so that you can live free from this devastation and find true healing.

We have all been unfaithful to God and we all have made mistakes. Jesus went to the cross because none of us are sinless but we can be redeemed and made new if we accept Jesus into our hearts. 

God bless you brothers and sisters, freedom is ahead!

Tonya's blog series: Surviving Infidelity

(Please click on the words "Surviving Infidelity" to go to her site.)

Work and Life balance

Hi everyone, firstly I need to apologise for not posting any blogs since January of this year. *shakes head at self. I have seriously let this thing slide and I do regret it but with life being as busy as it is and my poor prioritising skills this is what happens so please for give me.

On the topic of work, late last year my husband and I moved to a remote community within Australia to help others and also re find ourselves after such a horrific year previously. We have had many highs and lows a long the way but ultimately we love living remote. The one thing we are struggling with most is not having a church home to go to as the only church here is a Catholic Church and most of you are aware we are more Pentecostal. Anyway, not having that family to lean on has been a challenge especially during the growing pains period in our marriage with the season of healing and God restoring what the locusts had eaten. Beyond that I'm struggling within my position due to my boss who I won't blast on the internet but ultimately we are not here for the same reasons and our personalities truly clash beyond words. Me personally my main reasons for being here is; healing, following the direction god had given me and to truly help the less fortunate and through Christ prayerfully help others in the process. For her however, I believe her reasoning is something a long the lines of walking up the corporate ladder and making herself look and feel good in the process.... Ultimately I believe this is what causes a lot of our problems because I don't care about what others higher than me think as a whole, I mainly care about the families, children and community. My aim is to help them and to be like Christ to them because I maybe the only glimpse they see. Of course it's nice to get recognition for the effort you've put in but at the end of the day I work for God beyond all these smaller bosses. He is the one I aim to please in a sense. I can fall into the traps of trying to please management but that is not who I am and never have been that kind of person. Sadly, I believe that is the kind of company I work for as well. Too many chiefs and not enough Indians is a good saying that comes to mind.

I do have to recognise the areas within myself that I can work on because I cannot change how others act and feel so I truly do need Gods help with helping me to identify the areas I need change and grow in. I believe that some people are put in our lives to bend us, frustrate us, anger us, love us, agree with us and hurt us to test us and shape us into the people we are meant to be.

I'm sadly at the point though with this position that I'm almost ready to walk away. I have realised also that child care is not for me no matter in what context. I love the children and I love the families I just think that at this point in my life I would be better suited to making program's for others to implement. I truly feel that a community service provider position would be better suited whether it is helping young mums or helping create program's for underprivileged children to help them excel in life. Either way, child care is not the answer. I also want to find a job that I can openly talk about Jesus with the children and share the gospel with them in a kid friendly kind of way. The thing that gets me is that I'm currently living in a community that was built on an old catholic mission and Catholicism is still very evident today. A lot of the people are still very lost, don't know their identity is in Christ but are definitely holding on to the idea of a saviour and yet I'm not allowed to talk about Jesus to the children within the centre even though the local people here want it to be included, it baffles me.

I want to stay in this community as does my husband but I truly need God in this situation because this is not how I feel it is meant to be. I need his hand over this situation but more so I require his hand of healing and protection over this entire community. I have a deep passion to see these people freed from the torments of sin and walking in faith knowing that Jesus died on the cross so they can and will be free if they just surrender and follow Christ all the days of their life. I want the opportunity to share the good news with them. I have built some really close relationships with some local families and I just want to continue being the light for Jesus in their lives. I'd love for God to sweep in and remove me from this position but put me in one that I can truly be the hands that Jesus uses to heal and help these beautiful people.

Anyway, my issue here is that I obviously bring my work struggles home and unload on my husband who is also having issues of his own at work and because our housing is tied into my job and housing is hard to come by out here I feel quite pressured to stay in this job. We also have two dogs which adds to the struggles of getting other housing. At this point I don't see another job available that I truly desire so I'm just praying God steps in and does what is best for his plan which ultimately will be good for me too.

Please pray for us as we continue to fight the good fight on the front line against the enemy. We know that the closer we get to gods plan the harder and heavier the enemy will attack however, the fight has already been won on the cross by Jesus. Sometimes I can lose sight of that and need a friendly reminder.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Signing off,


Freedom fighter!

One Year To Date

September 15th 2013. A year ago to date my life was flipped upside down and inside out. As I sit and reflect on the hardest year of my life, grieving all that was lost and thinking of my Heavenly Father who truly has sustained me, picked me up when I couldn't stand and held me tightly during many sleepless nights I just want to use this time to truly thank God for loving me so much. My marriage has gone through one of the biggest tests I could imagine and yet here we are a year after confession still in this partnership. All though distance is currently between us due to work we are both feeling the depths of the pain caused and realise just how blessed we are to even be in this fight together. 

Today for me, has a double meaning to it because in one hand it's my husbands day of freedom. To never be trapped ever again. In the other hand it's where what I thought was a beautiful life and marriage with general bumps in the road became something unrecognisable. Today I'm going to let the pain be as real as it is and the victory as real as that is as well. It's all in Gods hands and honestly who else's hands would I rather it be in!?! He is the creator of all, they are some pretty safe hands to entrust it too I recon. 

Life will continue to go on and one day very soon I hope there will not be a sting to this chapter of our lives. God has big plans for us which he has already put us on the path to helping the less fortunate. I know deep down that I will be okay, we will be okay but for now I'm just going to BE.... 

I pray for all the marriages going through something, their very own trials. May you trust God with all of it, surrender it to him and ask him to come in heal and restore the broken parts. He already knows what you need, he's just waiting to hear from you. He loves you so much he sent his only son to die for all of us. Isn't that amazing!!! 

God Bless you all, 

Broken hearts become healed hearts!

God's Promises

Today I've decided to write down all God's promises that he has given me over the past 8 months so that you can see them come to light as well as time goes by. This way you will get a genuine view of how amazing our God is. I hadn't previously thought of doing this because I was dealing with other life struggles but it just hit me that this will be my way of sowing the good seed into your lives so that you don't have to just trust me but you can believe in God's amazing visions. So far these are the promises he's given me. See below:

• The conception of our twin baby boys. Still waiting on this one but holding onto faith that it's close now. Believe it will happen this June/July 2015
• My husband and I providing marriage counselling to those going through devastations. (This vision along with our babies was given to me back in September 2012). 
• Along with the marriage counselling vision, I asked Holy Spirit if we would need to study and he said: "Haven't you already been counselling couples. Trust in God, you will not need to study". - This vision is already come to light a lot in Wadeye but mainly as a female to female situation. I believe this one will develop more as time goes on.
• My husband and I working together in a career God desires for us. - We are working as houseparents in remote Australia working together for a Christian school. - August 2014
• World Vision - I came to realise this wasnt a vision for employment however, a vision in regards to our child sponsorship. Aug 2013
• Financial Freedom - I gained employment today that provides a substantial amount of money. (26th August 2013)
• By the end of May, beginning of June 2013 healing will come to light. - On June 17th God gave me the most amazing revelation EVER! I have reached a new level of healing. I think I will blog on this specific revelation because I believe many others could benefit from it. It is related to my marriage and God has given me a new perspective in regards to how I see my sufferings. AMAZING!
• ****** There has been many levels to this healing journey and it's now December 2014 and I've come to another higher level of healing where I have reached out my hand to those who have hurt me and asked to be friends and love them like Christ loves us and calls us to love others...
• A year from now, May 2014 I won't even recognise myself and the struggles in our marriage will seem so insignificant. - there has been a huge shift in my marriage and within myself. It's fantastic. *** As listed above their were still some stumbles along the way even after May 2014 but growth is growth and I've reached a new level of healing and a new understanding to my journey.
• (Jesus put it on my heart that in June/July of a year unknown that we will be blessed with our babies. - June/July 2015 we are going back to our hometown and facing where our issues unfolded. We believe this is a required step in facing the past once and for all and I sense that I will be pregnant with our twins during this visit or shortly after.  
• I was given a bible verse by The Holy Spirit: Revelations 2:26: "To the one who is victorious and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations".
• My husband is free from the bondages that had him captive and never again will we have to walk down this painful path again. YIPPEE still holds true to today!
• Becoming missionaries - We have been missionaries in remote NT working with indigenous people for over a year now - Dec 2014.

• I keep sensing that we will  be blessed with our twin baby boys biologically but both my husband and I feel this sense that we will also adopt children from all around the world. Tanzania, Mozambique, Ethiopia, Jamaica, America and Indigenous Australians. 

• My husband and I sense that we will visit Pemba Island one day. We first thought it was just a holiday but it seems there maybe more to it?? Will let you know when we know. 

I will continue to add to this list if I receive anymore promises but as you can see I've been promised a lot. My husband and I hold these things dearly to our hearts and they are the things that get us through the rough times along with Gods amazing grace. 

God Bless,

All shall be brought to light!