He Is Risen

Thank you Jesus for all that you have done for me.

Thank you Jesus for restoring what the locust had eaten from my marriage.

Thank you Jesus that I am a new creation and so is my husband.

Thank you Jesus that you restored me back to The Father.

Thank you Jesus for your many blessings that you have and will pour out on my life.

Thank you Jesus!

Happy Birthday To My Dearest

A beautiful birthday message from my husband that I want to be able to look back on for years to come.

"On a weekend where we get to celebrate the life, reflect on the death, and glorify the Resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, I want to take today 26th of March to also honour my wife who has been blessed to be on this earth for the last 29 years. I have only been blessed to know her for a small portion of that but if God is willing, I will see the day that I can say I have known her for the majority of her life. There is not much more I can tell FB about her. You already know she is the biggest part of my life after Jesus. There is nothing or no one that can come between us so don't even try. Been there, done that and guess what? We are still here. The world couldn't break us. The devil himself could not break us. My own weaknesses and frailty did not stop her from loving me and walking with me through darkness. WE ARE STILL HERE!!! This beautiful woman of God is one of the reasons why I know God is real and that He blesses the undeserving. He lifts up the broken. He heals hearts. And He quite often likes to use us to do it just to glorify Him. I love you, Booby! Keep being a light in the darkness. Keep reflecting the glory of our loving Father in the mighty name of Jesus. And also have a very, very, very Happy Birthday. ‪#‎StillHere ‪#‎CantStopWontStop"

Restoration

Praise God for restoration in our marriage!

The devil had come in recently and stirred the pot in our relationship, whispering his rubbish in our ears and sadly I believed him. I allowed his voice to echo some of the past hurts and bring it all rushing back to the surface. After calming down and spending some deep, quality time with my Heavenly Father in prayer and then talking to my husband I was able to process and find out what really was happening with him and temptation. He explained that he had not looked at porn, he had not been looking at pictures or anything however, it was a post in our newsfeed that mentioned something like "200 pound woman loses weight, see her now" and usually that wouldn't have even made him think to go and have a look. Well, this time he did but Holy Spirit spoke very clearly to him and he was able to catch it before it became anything. It's not that he's caught up in sin but he's noticed the need to not get complacent with the battle. Thank you Jesus for the clarification and removing the scales that were temporarily over my eyes.

Also, beyond that both of us have been sick with the flu and so the enemy has just been trying to attack us from every which away. Well, devil and your demons BACK OFF IN JESUS NAME, you have no right and no authority over our lives because WE are children of God.

The one thing that was amazing through this journey is that it led me to be more deliberate in praying over our marriage and my husband regularly. I had become complacent in this area. It wasn't a regular occurrence anymore as the years had gone by and the healing took place. So, I'm actually thankful for this little slip up as it keeps us on our toes, reminding us to never get too comfortable.

It also brought to the surface some of my own personal struggles around self image and my identity being firmly grounded in Jesus so that's my area of focus that The Lord continues to help me in this area.

I love my husband and he loves me. I know that I know that I know, that he has Jesus front and centre in his life. Thank you Jesus!

Signing Off,

No longer a slave to sin!

When To Walk Away

The question on my heart today is not related to my marriage but is about toxic relationships/friendships and when is it okay to walk away as Christians.......

I have always assumed as a Christian that we are to continue to turn the other cheek even if a non-believing person continues to bring toxicity into our lives. I thought we were meant to basically continue to take the beating in hopes that they will come to Christ one day and see the error of their ways. However, I've been doing some searching of the bible to understand how to deal with certain people in my life who are causing division and mock my God and yet continue to have expectations of me as that of a loving friend or family member....

After reading scriptures to understand my role in this scenario I've come to the conclusion that if they continue to choose the worldly ways and turn their backs on God even after being shown truth and they are not repentant for their behaviour then I have Gods grace to walk away.

This is not to say that we should walk away from every tough relationship because clearly there are people who are truly sorry for their behaviour and see the errors of their ways. God forgives those who repent and accept Jesus into their hearts but ultimately we have free will to either choose him and be under his grace or choose the devil and be under condemnation.

I acknowledge that we all mess up at times and don't always get things right so this is not about those kind of scenarios. This is about those who consistently choose evil, are boastful, proud, abusive and will cause others harm without a second thought and yet when you mess up they throw every error in your face.

We as Christians are called to forgive because God first forgave us. We are not to judge the sinner because we too were like them. The aim is to be reconciled to everyone but if reconciliation is not possible then it's okay to surrender the relationship/friendship to Jesus in prayer and walk away. My hopes is that these people will come to know The Lord at some point in their lives and clearly I'm not the right person to bring them to Christ but my hopes are that the seed has been planted and someone else will do the watering in their lives. I truly forgive them and I am also sorry for the wrongs I've played however, today is a day to release them to God. I will continue to uphold them in prayer but it's time to minimize the madness!

"People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people".…..2 Timothy 3:2-5"

"Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm".…Proverbs 13:20

"Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended".…Proverbs 22:10

"Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared".….Proverbs 22:24-25

"Do not speak to fools, for they will scorn your prudent words".…Proverbs 23:9

May God bless you as you navigate through the trials and figure out through Christ which is the best direction for you to go in... Feel free to visit this website that has helped me to come to my conclusions along with the word of God and The Holy Spirit who dwells within. http://www.luke173ministries.org/466828

Signing Off,

Freedom from the abuser, even if they are family!

Overcoming Fear

Hi blogger-sphere!!!

Recently my husband and I returned back to our old hometown (Adelaide) where there are many happy and sad memories that we created together. It has been 2 years since we had been there as we were on a healing journey from the adultery that took place in our marriage in that particular state. For a long time I could never see myself returning there and had a strong distaste for the state I was born in due to the sin that took place there BUT today I come with amazing news!! 

Between the 5th of July 2015 and the 12th of July 2015 we went back to face our demons whilst overcoming fear and the strongholds that place held. WOW God is so so good!! I mean I hated that place with a passion and the people that were involved in the adultery that live there also. All I can say is that I faced it head on and through the power of The Holy Spirit I no longer hold anger, hurt and bitterness towards the place and the people. Praise God!! As I walked around my old stomping ground I truly experienced freedom and saw that it's just a place. The place isn't to blame, it's sin that caused my hurts. I tell you what, it was amazing to spend time with family and friends and be reunited with our loved ones. All though we don't see that place as home anymore, it will always hold fond memories. The sin covered memories are dead and buried on the cross and the people involved are strangers to us now but also they are children of God. Simple. I'm no longer tied down to the past, I have been freed by Gods grace, kindness and mercy. We truly enjoyed ourselves there. All though, the weather was freezing and not something we are use to anymore since we've been living in the NT. We were glad to overcome that hurdle and no longer be hindered by past events that clearly should have never happened and were a plan of satan himself. God didn't want these events to happen but he sure as heck used them to bring us closer to him. 

I want you all to know that there is hope and healing beyond the affects of adultery in your marriage. You can live beyond it. You don't have to be a victim forever, you can be a true survivor who no longer wears the wounds because Jesus can and will heal them completely so long as you surrender it all to him and choose to follow him. 

The 15th of September 2012 was the day my husband confessed the adultery and his brokenness and I thought this day would be an ugly reminder for the rest of my life of what nearly destroyed our marriage but I have to say, it's now the day of my husbands freedom!! It's the day that God freed him from sin and the day I got to see the real man that he is. 

You see, I knew way before this date that something wasn't right in fact years before as The Holy Spirit set my alarm bells off many times but until September 2012, it was a very heavy burden that my husband was carrying by himself. What he didn't realise is that Jesus was there when those sins took place. Jesus mourned for my husband and the affects his choices were having on himself, his family and the others involved. God wept as he saw his lost son (my husband) committing such grievous sins against God, himself and I and he couldn't leave him in it forever so bit by bit God chipped away at the wall my husband had around his heart and the scales on his eyes until one day, he just couldn't take it anymore and he hit rock bottom. The day he hit rock bottom was the day he found true freedom. THANK YOU JESUS!! I thank you my Lord that you loved my husband and I so much that you couldn't leave us in sin and that you have walked by our side through this whole journey whilst renewing our hearts and minds. I love you my Lord Jesus, we love you!!

Freedom feels amazing and to know that my heart and soul has been made right with God brings me such peace and joy. I pray you too get to experience the kind of freedom I'm experiencing today. Love conquers ALL!

Until next time, 

Miracles Do Happen!!

A Fresh Start

Today marks the end the the book of my old life and I'm so glad this is so. You see most people experience the end of a chapter but continue on in the same book but for us God completely threw out the old book, covered it with Jesus blood and gave us a new one to start a fresh in. So not only does today mark the end of an old book but it also marks the beginning of a new one.... 

My husband and I have a brand new book to write a new story for our lives in. Our marriage has been blessed by Jesus himself and I sense that He is moving in our marriage and our lives together and individually very quickly. I sense that we will see HUGE changes very shortly and that God is going to take us all over the world helping the lost and sharing our testimony. I believe our lives and our marriage is going to be fruitful and start blossoming like a tree coming out in Spring. 

Jesus, let the story be a good one and I'll continue to keep you first in my life and in my marriage! Please bless my dearly beloved husband in abundance and keep his eyes and heart set on you all the days of his life. Continue to strengthen him and show him his worth in you. I'm so blessed that both my husband and I have been made new and that my husband is an honourable, faithful and free man who love Jesus. I love you Jesus too!

Thank you for EVERYTHING! You are the best and I cannot wait to see how our lives play out from this day forth. My life is no longer my own, it's yours Jesus and it's truly in your safe hands. I LOVE YOU!

Signing Off,

Fresh Start and New Beginnings 

Taking Back The Rainbow

Today is a day that marks the change of marriage in the eyes of the world BUT to God marriage is still between one man and one woman. I stand for the biblical view of marriage.

We are called to love people as Jesus loves them but that doesn't mean we have to agree with their lifestyle choices. Jesus loves you and he came to save us ALL from sin. Homosexuality is no greater sin than adultery, fornication, lying, stealing etc. You too can be forgiven and freed from those bondage's.

I also wanted to share the true meaning of the rainbow with you today!

It is a time where persecution of Christians is going to only increase as time persists. The closer we get to Jesus return the heavier that persecution will become. In some places of the world Christian brothers and sisters are being killed for their faith. If you are a true bible believing Christian, you know that these signs are in the word of God. Stand firm and do not waiver from Gods ways because it's truly the only way to heaven. Jesus loves you and I love you. 

Matthew 5:10 "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Sadly, by the passing of homosexual marriage it has opened the flood gates to other sins. There is now talk of pedophiles fighting for the right to marry children as it's apart of their sexual orientation.... Sin is sin people, none of us are void from it except Jesus but we all need to see it for what it truly is instead of allowing the world to put a diagnosis to it and claiming that it's just who they are. When we accept Jesus into our lives with sincerity the old me dies and the new rises up in Christ free from sin and condemnation, being purified daily through the power of The Holy Spirit. 

Be blessed family in these end times and stand firm in Christ Jesus. He is well worth being a soldier in his army for and with. 

Signing Off,

A Woman Taking A Stand.

Blessings From Above

                             (Google Image. Our babies looked similar to these two.)
   

Today I'd like to share with you all a bit about the miracle my husband and I have been waiting for, for almost 7 years now. 

As you may remember my very first post was called "Double the Trouble and Double the Fun!" (feel free to click the link to refresh your memory if needed).  Well, over these past 2.5 years of healing from adultery God has shown me that we will be blessed with twin baby boys that will biologically be ours. In fact he gave me this very image the same night my husband confessed his sins and I left our home for a time because I thought our marriage could not survive such a devastation. As I would cry myself to sleep in my exhaustion I had this vision of my husband lying on the grass at a park, our twin boys were about 2 to 3 years old and they were jumping on top of him wrestling. They were all giggling and having such a good time. Our dog Missy was running around them in circles and it was as if I was standing back watching from a distance and joy filled my heart and then I'd wake up. As I woke up, I'd realise I wasn't at my house and that the adultery wasn't a nightmare and I would yell at God asking him why he would show me this vision when I had left him and by worldly, scientific standards my husband was diagnosed as "infertile". Each and every night I would have this very same dream/vision time and time again until the last night I had a dream/vision of my husband and I being Christian marriage counsellors for other couples who were facing the same devastation and loss as we are and we were together. After I woke up from this vision I felt a deep presence of The Holy Spirit and I felt drawn to my husband like The Holy Spirit was dragging me home so I went home and we've been healing ever since...

Anyway, so within 6 months of our healing journey I felt that The Holy Spirit whispered in my heart that our babies would be conceived in July/August but I didn't know which year. Obviously I thought oh yeah, it'll be next year and I will be healed by then!! Oh I was naive... September 15th 2015 it will be 3 years since my husbands confession and still to date (26th of June 2015) I'm not pregnant but I believe in my heart that I will be very soon. You see along the way I've had amazing men and women of God who have shared visions with me over this very topic. As of most recent a sister in Christ had a vision of me in hospital holding my twins in my arms. About a month later a brother in Christ had a vision of me walking down the road in the community we live in and my stomach was HUGE and the children we look after were by my side. I've also sensed that before Jesus blesses us with our babies that we would need to return home to where it all begun for the final closure and God has made a way for us to return when financially it seemed impossible. There have been many more other signs along the way but I'd have to share even more detail about my life for it to make sense. We even began the IVF process the year before my husband confessed but deep within our spirit we felt God said NO very firmly so we didn't continue.

I know that I know, that I know, that I will be pregnant VERY soon! I full heartedly believe our twin baby blessing is coming soon and that it all lines up with God knowing what sins were being hidden in darkness and he was holding our baby blessing back until we had healed from adultery and until restoration has taken place. I'm so very excited that very soon  that God will be lending us two of his precious children to raise them up in the way of The Lord. I Praise God for his many blessings we are about to receive and that he saved us not only from divorce but also the both of us from the pit of hell. Honestly, if God never did anything more for us we still have been blessed in abundance with an eternal life in Heaven!! Thank you Jesus!! 

Keep an eye out on this space because I will post to let you know our pregnancy news shortly!! Believe it or not, it's coming! 

Signing Off,

Blessed Child of God!!

Healed, At least I thought I was....

November 2014 

My husband and I have been up and down emotionally like a Yo-Yo these past couple of years due to the adultery and infertility devastations. We have days and weeks where things are great and then an image, nightmare or reminder would come into my head like it flew in there and I'd rebuke the devil and claim the victory of healing but the image would manifest into something uglier and I'd fall for the devils nasty tricks over and over. I could see it so clearly when my mind was right but then in the midst of it, it was like I didn't know which way was up or down. Not only were we struggling with the past and my husband struggling with the guilt and shame but we are also missionaries too remember!?! Living to serve God's children... We are houseparents to between 9-12 teenage girls that were going through their very own spiritual battles so we had a lot on our shoulders to say the least.

My husband and I were struggling to keep our heads above water. There was a further break down in communication which we now realise is the devils ultimate plan. Ultimately he is just trying to kill, steal and destroy. Breaking down relationships is his fortay and he has been doing it for a mighty long time. As soon as someone pointed this out to us we were more equipped to realise it and repent, forgive and give glory to God which would make the devil flee. 

Anyway, things got so bad we just couldn't take it anymore and decided that we are surrounded by Christians and it was time to lean not only on Christ and each other but our brothers and sisters in Christ as well. So, we went to a friend of ours house and they prayed for us. These guys are so revved up for Jesus, have the gift of healing and the Holy Spirit gives them images and words to speak into peoples lives. These guys are such a blessing to us. Anyway, we went to their house and our brother in Christ reminded my husband that he is spotless now through the finished work on the cross. He is and we are children of God. Sons and daughters of the most high. My husband had been beaten over the head so much by the devil, by seeing me in pain that he dropped his identity and accepted the devils thoughts as his own and so had I. It was this reminder that put him back into perspective and set him free from that bondage again. AMEN! Our brother "Tee" said to my husband "M" that sin is like a bucket of paint, sometimes it get's spilt or we spill it all over the white walls (life) and through Christ overcoming death and sin on the cross he has cleaned it all up. That really hit home for me. Then as I was praying I got an image of white walls and me kicking the bucket over to make it spill on the walls. As if I was searching hard to see whether there was anymore sin left in my husbands life. Then "Cee" our brother's wife said to me that she had this image of me searching frantically in the corners of this white walled room high and low for the stains and on the walls but there were no stains on my husband because it's been dealt with but the paint was on my clothes,  I was wearing his sins but it wasn't touching my skin because I'm also free from sin through Christ. "Cee's" interpretation was that I'm looking every where in my husbands life to see if theirs still areas of sin that he's carrying around of hiding from me because I don't trust him but that he is free and is no longer that man that once hurt me deeply. He has been made new and righteous and he is a faithful, honourable man of God and that I don't need to look or search anymore but that I have to take off those old clothes, meaning I had to take off that old condemnation, sin nature, burden, hurt and put on my white clean robe that Jesus gave to me freely on the cross. When she told me this I knew this was right and I started bawling like a baby. It hit home because I had been so sin conscious that I would search high and low to see if my husband was just "pretending" to be healed but I never found anything. In the past 2.5 years I have not been able to find a single thing out of place in my husbands life. Not one thing. Whereas before, I didn't need to search very far to find the ugliness. It's amazing and yet scary all at once. I told "Cee" the vision I had and I was so amazed and what God had just showed us. From that point on for about 3 or 4 weeks I was completely and utterly free from the devils sneaky ways and I felt 100% healed once and for all. 

It was the most amazing experience. I went home and repented for the hatred that was festering inside of me towards the other women, I made a visual declaration to Jesus and took off the spotted clothes and through them in a visual fire and accepted my white robe from Jesus. I basked in the beauty of freedom. I praised and worshipped Jesus in the morning when I woke up I'd praise him, thank him and declare that I was healed and free and spotless at night I'd do the same. It was soooo beautiful. 

3 or 4 weeks later..... 

There were random thoughts going through my head which at first I knew weren't mine so it was quite easy to recognise it was the enemy and I just declared I was healed and praised Jesus but then there were some other thoughts of us running into the other women at a shopping centre and I first thought hey, that would be a good opportunity to show forgiveness and grace but then it morphed into myself being full of anxiety and fear... There it was!! The devil had me again... I was truly a mess, deep in the pain and destruction of it all, all over again. It was a very wrestles night and I woke up the next day drained, tired and a sense of hopelessness fell upon me. You see after this much time you start to question whether you will ever be free. It truly brings you down but I'm aware that it's the enemies schemes to try to keep me away from my breakthrough.

 A few days later.......

I woke up and Jesus freed me from the devil and he fleed. Jesus restored my hope and my fight to continue. AMEN!

Freedom to start over

The past few weeks had been quite a struggle for me up until about 4 days ago. I kept asking God "when will this suffering end? I cannot keep going on like this. It's too much. I poured out my heart and let God know that I know that he loves me and has a plan to prosper me however, I don't think I can hold on much longer. After many sleepless, teary eyed nights I woke up one morning and a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Thank you Jesus!!! 

I've realised today that I have the freedom to start over in my marriage because Jesus paid the ultimate price for me and when he said "it is finished" he meant it is finished. I no longer need to feel the depths of pain caused by sin. I no longer have to see myself as a victim because I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm a child of God who has the exact same Holy Spirit dwelling in me as Jesus had within him many many years ago. I no longer want to or need to be tied down by past hurts because I can let go of them and let God so that is what I'm going to do. Today I take a stand and through the strength, guidance and wisdom of my Heavenly Father I will be free to love and trust my husband again because I can trust that God has healed him from the inside out. I choose to trust God with my life even when it seems hopeless. I can guarantee that I will not do it perfectly but I will do my best and I know that, that is enough for my Heavenly Father because he will do the rest. Life is a funny thing you know and until you go through something seriously life altering you do not realise how much you were taking for granted. It's as if through our trials we gain wisdom, freedom, identity when we choose to lean into The Lord and we gain a new perspective on the way we were once living. The storm my marriage endured was excruciating and I would never want to re live it or wish it upon anyone else but sadly we will all endure something in our lives that stretches us. It's just a matter of how we cope with those moments when they come. If I could give you any advice at all, do not run from your storm, lean into it, go through it. Experience every emotion that comes with it. Process it and lean in towards Jesus. When you are ready you can then let go but know that God is in control. Know that you will never be the same you as you left behind before the storm but you can be a better version of yourself if you put in the time, patience and endurance. 

May God watch over every single on of you and help you on this journey to be more like Christ. 

God Bless, 

Freedom comes with forgiveness

When God shows you favour...

Have you ever experienced extreme storms in your life and during that storm you've leant in closer to our amazing creator to then only be shown unmerited favour? Well, I can say that 6 months ago I would have never thought he would bother to bless me ever again since my marriage was in the biggest mess it could possibly be in. As I sit here and look back on the blessings in my life during this past year of trials I'm starting to clearly see where Gods hand has been. I can honestly say before today it has been quite difficult to see any such blessings because the pain and suffering was blocking my view however, today there is a little light shining through. 

Heavenly Father, I just want to thank you for always being in control of our lives and always having a plan beyond our own thought restrictions. I thank you for salvaging my marriage from the depths of hell and I thank you that in your word we will receive double for our trouble. I'm learning to trust you and to trust that this time of discipline is for my benefit. I want to thank you for blessing me with my husband and helping me to be more like you during our trials together. I thank you for the growth I'm seeing so clearly in him and I thank you for beginning to remove the "hurt scales" from my eyes so that I can see the man I love so clearly as well as myself being your beautiful blessed daughter. I also want to thank you for never leaving me, nor forsaking me and having a plan to see me prosper beyond my wildest dreams just as long as I keep relying on you. I'm sorry for the times I try to take control of the reins time and time again but I thank you that you do not get angry with me and stay by my side whilst walking me through it. I thank you for blessing us with this new and wonderful adventure we are currently on and that you answer even the smallest of requests. You continue to amaze me and you do it so quietly that I could easily miss your blessings if I don't keep my eyes and heart focused on you. Thank you for bringing this awareness to my heart. I love you daddy in Jesus name, Amen!

As you can see I've just had a significant revelation so I had to take the time to acknowledge that. Thank you Jesus!

May God Bless You All,

Growth beyond measure!

Happy Anniversary!

                       

July 29th 2007, 6 years ago to date I married the man of my dreams. The man I shared many hopes and dreams with for our future together. We were married in a courthouse with close friends near by. We didn't have much money but we had an overwhelming amount of love for one another. As I reflect back on the 6 years of marriage there have been many highs and sadly, many lows but today is about celebration. Today signifies victory over past hurts, it signifies oneness. For me, it's about setting aside all the disappointments, stripping it all back to my husband, Christ and I. Today is a day to not only acknowledge the commitment we made 6 years ago but it's also about acknowledging Jesus and what he has done for us. I'm so great full for my husband and the many lessons learned from having him in my life. Some things I wished we wouldn't of had to of learnt the hard way but through trials brings strength, perseverance and a building of ones character. 

1 year ago to date,  we renewed our vows on our 5 year anniversary in beautiful Hawaii but only this time we had the wedding I desired with family members from both sides and loved ones to bare witness. I had the beautiful dress and the dashing Prince Charming to go with it. This time there was a Pastor present as we said our vows re affirming our commitment to God and one another restoring the covenant that at the time had been broken. It was such a beautiful day. 

As you maybe aware from previous blogs, our marital journey has been far from a walk in the park but we are still standing firm united. We get knocked down by the waves and thunderstorms of life but God helps us rise back up on to our feet each and every time. Did you know without God this marriage would have headed straight for divorce? That's right and that shakes me to my core knowing just how fragile we are. God has given us beauty from our ashes and not that we are completely through it all but we are mighty close. 

Sometime ago I read a Christian  book on healing and restoration and in that book it said:

"Isn't it caring and right for God to improve your character? We are his after all. Besides, marriage was never all about you. What if God needs to change your husband by making him struggle through these problems with you? Is it not fair for God to ask you to serve him this way after everything he's done for you? We aren't truly a marriage of three until we accept his higher ways of thinking on marriage."

As you can imagine this spoke volumes to me in our season of brokenness but not only that it has given me a revelation on marriage in its entirety. You see, we usually get married based on feelings. You hear many people say "we are so inlove". As you grow, learn and endure hard times and we all will go through them at some stage we begin to learn that love isn't just about a feeling because feelings change. Love is about doing. It's a verb. The problem is that many people when faced with hard times say things like "I've fallen out of love with them". True love is a choice. It's sacrificial like the love Jesus has for us. 

I can honestly say that our love for one another, our commitment has been tested in many ways and at times I've felt unloved due to his actions and I'm sure in some way he has felt the same and this is why we don't build ourselves up on feelings or each other. Our identity is found in Christ. As much as we love each other, we will never be able to fill the hole that is within us that longs to be loved and accepted simply because only God can fill that spot. 

Marriage can be beautiful but it is not a fairy tale. It reminds me of a beautiful mosaic window. Little intricut pieces of broken glass put together to create a thing of beauty and with Gods healing hands, marriages like my own that have been bent, stretched and broken can be put back together only this time in Gods ordained order creating that beautiful mosaic window. 

Anyway, my husband is my life partner and there is still so much to thank God for in the midst of pain and today I celebrate along side my husband enjoying the calmness of the ocean on our very special day! 

Happy 6th Anniversary to such an incredible God fearing man. Thank you for allowing me to share many experiences with you. Thank you for loving me when I've been unloveable. Thank you for going the distance to become the man God intended you to be. Thank you for loving God and loving me! I love you handsome. 

God Bless,

A Joyful Heart

Adventures To Be Had

Hey everyone, so it's been a few days since my last blog because my husband and I have been in deep discussion about the future, our desires and plans. One thing you need to know about us is that we LOVE to travel. I mean it! We absolutely love to travel. We have been quite a few places together and separately in our lives and since children are currently not in our plans as we are waiting on God's timing in this area we've decided to take advantage of this time we have. As you may know from previous blogs, my husband and I have been in a REALLY rough season of our lives this past year and it's coming up to our 1 year anniversary in September of when things began to spiral out of control for us. We have had some extreme lows, we've had to face some seriously ugly truths and we have had to rely 100% on God to heal us and bring us through this season to full restoration. It has been tough! What I can say is that we both now feel like we need a season of FUN. A season to make new memories together. To rebuild our marriage from the brokenness it had to endure and it's only through Christ that this is even possible. So, we have decided to pack up our house, rent it out, sell one of our cars and begin a new adventure! We are both so excited!! 

At the beginning of this painful season I wanted so badly to just run away and escape my troubles however, my husband and I were given wise counsel to not make any rash decisions for 12 months and to grin and bare it. You see had we of left when I wanted to, we wouldn't have faced the demons in our closet and we would have carried the ugliness around with us so I'm definitely thankful and proud that we stuck to the healing journey because now that it is time to pack up for an adventure my conscience is clear. I know that we aren't doing it to escape anything. I realise no matter where we go this season will always exist in our past but it no longer has to control my present and future so this is why it's time to start making new, beautiful memories together. Putting ourselves out there to experience the wonders of the world. So, the plan is to do a working holiday throughout Australia! I know right!?! How amazing!

The other thing we've had a recent revelation of is that we will be like missionaries, travelling around and having the opportunity to spread the Gospel and share our testimonies  all for the benefit of our Heavenly Father. All though we will not be attending our home church we will have the opportunity to experience many others throughout Australia and when we are out of reach in the outback we will have podcasts and of course our bibles. I will keep you posted a long the way as we go as I believe that this blog will become the place we share testimonies of the people we come in contact with etc. 

As for now though, it's just a lot of organising ahead. You know, selling the car, getting the house up to scratch and putting it on the rental market, finding work (which we've already got a pretty good idea of the jobs we want to work) and getting some finances behind us. I'm sure it will take us all the way to September just to get things some what organised but nevertheless it's all very exciting.

If I go a little quiet for a while just know that it's because I maybe painting walls or organising things for our trip. 

God Bless,

Adventure Warrior!

Riding the Highs

 

For the last two days I've been out of the ugly rut of the current season Im in and it's been fantastic! My husband and I have been spending quality time bonding, going for walks and communicating extremely well all thanks to our loving God. Honestly, none of this would be possible if it weren't for Jesus! He has the power to restore all that was broken, my husband and I are walking, living proof. I don't have much to blog on today because I'm honestly just enjoying each and every moment that comes my way. I pray that you are all finding joy no matter the season you're in. Know that you can have joy even through trials and in suffering when you look to The Lord for comfort and guidance. Sometimes we can lose sight of that but keep your focus on God and he will get you through all of it. You just have to have FAITH!

God Bless,

A new creation! 

Who Am I?

Co Campbell - Conquerer

Today I've decided to sit down and ask myself the hard questions I've never had to confront before such as; who am I? What are my hopes and dreams for the future? With life's losses, how will I move forward to the best life I can have? What are my goals and aspirations? 

The previous post was about being a "Godly wife in an UnGodly world" which is the cause of today's post. With insecurities and fears flooding my world I've lost perspective of who I am. When my marriage life was fine or at least not as drained as it is now I was full of love, life and laughter. I was confident and I enjoyed what life had to offer however, since the tsunami hit my marriage front I've been tossed around in the waves. I've lost perspective, I've lost my confidence, I've lost my love for life and all it has to offer. It's as if the tsunami swept in and stole my joy, stole my confidence and it seems it stole my hope for the future. Who am I? And where did I go? 

I understand as a Christian I should be able to confront life's issues with "hope" insight and that my life shouldn't look similar to the non believer because of God's amazing grace. However, some of life's tsunamis can truly knock us off our feet to the point where we lose perspective. I've been knocked down but I will not stay down. You see that's the difference, non believers may not dust themselves off and get back up because honestly what do they have left to get back up for? When you are facing lifes trials as a believer you have strength that goes far beyond yourself, you become resilient through Christ who gives you strength. 

So, who am I? Well, I'm a believer. I'm a precious child of God. I am his princess. I am his image bearer. I am a Saint. I am forgiven. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I am accepted. I am gracious. I am loved. I am a wife, daughter and sister. I am a friend to many.  I'm learning that I'm valued and valuable to God. I'm learning that I have many emotions but they are not who I am. They are expressions that can be controlled. I am ME!

I'm adjusting to my new not so "fairytale" life. I'm learning to accept that people don't always live up to our expectations and that's okay because we are all human and we all stumble and fall at times.

What are my hopes and dreams for my new life? My hopes and dreams are that through this life altering experience I come out in a much closer relationship with my Heavenly Daddy and my husband in a bond that cannot be broken. I hope that I will be able to stand firm in my identity in Christ no matter what life throws at me as I will not be easily pushed or shoved in any direction. I hope to be full of joy, love and compassion for others and myself. 

How will I move forward? Well, one small step or crawl at a time keeping my eyes set on Jesus. If I get knocked down, I will get back up again. I will have this victory in Jesus name. I am not a victim, I am a survivor. 

What are my goals and aspirations? To live out the best and most fulfilling life I can that glorifies my God. I want the marriage I have always desired and I will not take anything less because Jesus knows the desires of my heart and the suffering I've had to endure and he knows what's best for me. I want my children that has been promised. I will not let those who've hurt me steal the desires of my heart.

This morning I woke to anxiety, fear and insecurities about going out into this big bad world and being afraid that everything I've ever worked hard for was destroyed by others sinful choices but then it hit me. I haven't lost anything. In fact, those people who were trying to steal my joy are "bottom feeders". 

"Bottom feeders will always try and eat up all the crumbs of your lunch. They may get a nibble or two but they will never have access to the whole buffet."

What I mean by this is that people may try to take things from you that are rightfully yours and they may sneak their way in a little but they can never have it all because it belongs to you. Like my marriage, it has been ordained by God and people and/or the enemy may want to destroy it or take from it and they may successfully get in through a small crack but they will not be able to destroy it simply because it's in Gods hands and now built on a firm foundation. I think the important thing I need to remember is that a person willing to take the crumbs obviously has a low self worth or Christ worth and really needs my compassion and grace. I can show grace because I've been shown grace. I will stand united with my husband on the front line looking up to God for direction and we will survive this fall. 

So who am I? Well, I'm a woman growing in leaps and bounds who still has fears but will not let them rule over me through Christ who gives me strength.

God Bless You!



Finding my way back to ME!