Happy Anniversary!

                       

July 29th 2007, 6 years ago to date I married the man of my dreams. The man I shared many hopes and dreams with for our future together. We were married in a courthouse with close friends near by. We didn't have much money but we had an overwhelming amount of love for one another. As I reflect back on the 6 years of marriage there have been many highs and sadly, many lows but today is about celebration. Today signifies victory over past hurts, it signifies oneness. For me, it's about setting aside all the disappointments, stripping it all back to my husband, Christ and I. Today is a day to not only acknowledge the commitment we made 6 years ago but it's also about acknowledging Jesus and what he has done for us. I'm so great full for my husband and the many lessons learned from having him in my life. Some things I wished we wouldn't of had to of learnt the hard way but through trials brings strength, perseverance and a building of ones character. 

1 year ago to date,  we renewed our vows on our 5 year anniversary in beautiful Hawaii but only this time we had the wedding I desired with family members from both sides and loved ones to bare witness. I had the beautiful dress and the dashing Prince Charming to go with it. This time there was a Pastor present as we said our vows re affirming our commitment to God and one another restoring the covenant that at the time had been broken. It was such a beautiful day. 

As you maybe aware from previous blogs, our marital journey has been far from a walk in the park but we are still standing firm united. We get knocked down by the waves and thunderstorms of life but God helps us rise back up on to our feet each and every time. Did you know without God this marriage would have headed straight for divorce? That's right and that shakes me to my core knowing just how fragile we are. God has given us beauty from our ashes and not that we are completely through it all but we are mighty close. 

Sometime ago I read a Christian  book on healing and restoration and in that book it said:

"Isn't it caring and right for God to improve your character? We are his after all. Besides, marriage was never all about you. What if God needs to change your husband by making him struggle through these problems with you? Is it not fair for God to ask you to serve him this way after everything he's done for you? We aren't truly a marriage of three until we accept his higher ways of thinking on marriage."

As you can imagine this spoke volumes to me in our season of brokenness but not only that it has given me a revelation on marriage in its entirety. You see, we usually get married based on feelings. You hear many people say "we are so inlove". As you grow, learn and endure hard times and we all will go through them at some stage we begin to learn that love isn't just about a feeling because feelings change. Love is about doing. It's a verb. The problem is that many people when faced with hard times say things like "I've fallen out of love with them". True love is a choice. It's sacrificial like the love Jesus has for us. 

I can honestly say that our love for one another, our commitment has been tested in many ways and at times I've felt unloved due to his actions and I'm sure in some way he has felt the same and this is why we don't build ourselves up on feelings or each other. Our identity is found in Christ. As much as we love each other, we will never be able to fill the hole that is within us that longs to be loved and accepted simply because only God can fill that spot. 

Marriage can be beautiful but it is not a fairy tale. It reminds me of a beautiful mosaic window. Little intricut pieces of broken glass put together to create a thing of beauty and with Gods healing hands, marriages like my own that have been bent, stretched and broken can be put back together only this time in Gods ordained order creating that beautiful mosaic window. 

Anyway, my husband is my life partner and there is still so much to thank God for in the midst of pain and today I celebrate along side my husband enjoying the calmness of the ocean on our very special day! 

Happy 6th Anniversary to such an incredible God fearing man. Thank you for allowing me to share many experiences with you. Thank you for loving me when I've been unloveable. Thank you for going the distance to become the man God intended you to be. Thank you for loving God and loving me! I love you handsome. 

God Bless,

A Joyful Heart

God's Promises

Today I've decided to write down all God's promises that he has given me over the past 8 months so that you can see them come to light as well as time goes by. This way you will get a genuine view of how amazing our God is. I hadn't previously thought of doing this because I was dealing with other life struggles but it just hit me that this will be my way of sowing the good seed into your lives so that you don't have to just trust me but you can believe in God's amazing visions. So far these are the promises he's given me. See below:

• The conception of our twin baby boys. Still waiting on this one but holding onto faith that it's close now. Believe it will happen this June/July 2015
• My husband and I providing marriage counselling to those going through devastations. (This vision along with our babies was given to me back in September 2012). 
• Along with the marriage counselling vision, I asked Holy Spirit if we would need to study and he said: "Haven't you already been counselling couples. Trust in God, you will not need to study". - This vision is already come to light a lot in Wadeye but mainly as a female to female situation. I believe this one will develop more as time goes on.
• My husband and I working together in a career God desires for us. - We are working as houseparents in remote Australia working together for a Christian school. - August 2014
• World Vision - I came to realise this wasnt a vision for employment however, a vision in regards to our child sponsorship. Aug 2013
• Financial Freedom - I gained employment today that provides a substantial amount of money. (26th August 2013)
• By the end of May, beginning of June 2013 healing will come to light. - On June 17th God gave me the most amazing revelation EVER! I have reached a new level of healing. I think I will blog on this specific revelation because I believe many others could benefit from it. It is related to my marriage and God has given me a new perspective in regards to how I see my sufferings. AMAZING!
• ****** There has been many levels to this healing journey and it's now December 2014 and I've come to another higher level of healing where I have reached out my hand to those who have hurt me and asked to be friends and love them like Christ loves us and calls us to love others...
• A year from now, May 2014 I won't even recognise myself and the struggles in our marriage will seem so insignificant. - there has been a huge shift in my marriage and within myself. It's fantastic. *** As listed above their were still some stumbles along the way even after May 2014 but growth is growth and I've reached a new level of healing and a new understanding to my journey.
• (Jesus put it on my heart that in June/July of a year unknown that we will be blessed with our babies. - June/July 2015 we are going back to our hometown and facing where our issues unfolded. We believe this is a required step in facing the past once and for all and I sense that I will be pregnant with our twins during this visit or shortly after.  
• I was given a bible verse by The Holy Spirit: Revelations 2:26: "To the one who is victorious and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations".
• My husband is free from the bondages that had him captive and never again will we have to walk down this painful path again. YIPPEE still holds true to today!
• Becoming missionaries - We have been missionaries in remote NT working with indigenous people for over a year now - Dec 2014.

• I keep sensing that we will  be blessed with our twin baby boys biologically but both my husband and I feel this sense that we will also adopt children from all around the world. Tanzania, Mozambique, Ethiopia, Jamaica, America and Indigenous Australians. 

• My husband and I sense that we will visit Pemba Island one day. We first thought it was just a holiday but it seems there maybe more to it?? Will let you know when we know. 

I will continue to add to this list if I receive anymore promises but as you can see I've been promised a lot. My husband and I hold these things dearly to our hearts and they are the things that get us through the rough times along with Gods amazing grace. 

God Bless,

All shall be brought to light!

Turning The Tables

The past few days had been extremely rough. Just a week ago I was feeling the sense of being healed and that God had truly turned this thing around. I can tell you that restoration and healing is still in Gods plan but I was caught up in a spiritual battle but at the time I was unaware of it. My husband and I were fighting and things weren't looking good. The "D" word was being thrown around and I believed it was over for us. For two days we weren't talking besides the little amounts we had too. In a very short space of time I had this sense that Holy Spirit was saying to me "Go and reconnect with your husband". I was yelling out, "No, I can't go through this pain anymore. Unless you take away my memory, I'm not doing it. I've been doing it long enough". As you can imagine, God had his own plans and I fought him every step of the way. The struggles my husband and I are going through are like a tsunami and satan doesn't want God to have the victory because the previous 2.5 weeks were absolutely amazing. A true vision of healing. Anyway, it didn't take me long to figure out I was caught up in a spiritual battle that is beyond me. I could hear the words ringing in my ear "Be Still". Satan had tried and somewhat succeeded with filling my head with things like "You deserve a better life than this one. You can have a husband that won't hurt you". (These were all lies from satan. I do deserve to be happy but not separated from my amazing, faithful husband). For those who know me, I'm a fighter and I generally don't allow satan's words to resonate within me but this was like a bomb had exploded and I didn't know which way was up. 

Anyway, I seeked help through friends that were amazing in prayer. Their words that just seemed to be downloaded straight from God himself truly helped settle my soul. I seeked Biblical counsel from a wise woman whose words just seemed to fill me up. After seeing her, I came home and my inner being was seeking out my husband. I could tell that there was no running from this one. He and I are meant to be together and God has his hand over us. Even if I tried to run, I would always end up back in the arms of my beloved. When God has a plan for your life, you can try to fight it but like myself, he will drag you back to his path kicking and screaming if necessary. I can say that today, my husband and I are back in each others arms and ready to continue to rely on God for his healing within our lives. He has a plan for our marriage and our lives, there's no escaping it. 

During this time of struggle, God met one of the many visions he provided me with. For the past 4 months, God had "World Vision" (Yes, the company) ringing in my ears and deep on my heart. Previously, World Vision put out 3 jobs some months back and I applied for them, staying faithful to God's visions and I was denied every step of the way. I was confused but I chose to stay faithful to his promises and not let the rejection get me down too much. Anyway, 2 weeks ago another casual position came up through World Vision, so I stepped out again in faith and applied. In the midst of this recent crisis, I received an email from World Vision whom have invited me for an interview June 4th. Can you believe it!?! God is so faithful to his promises!! He just knew that the timing was absolutely necessary. Thank You Jesus for loving me and my husband so very much and always coming through. I cannot believe how many promises that have come to light and yet my faith still waivers at times of spiritual attack. Forgive me father, I really am like a young child needing your guidance and direction every step of the way. I'm so thankful that you never give up on us. I love you so much!

Today is another day and I'm ready for the battles ahead. I'm still struggling and God knows what it is I need so I will wait as patiently as I can and watch him move mountains for me. 

God Bless You All!

All in God's timing.