The past few days had been extremely rough. Just a week ago I was feeling the sense of being healed and that God had truly turned this thing around. I can tell you that restoration and healing is still in Gods plan but I was caught up in a spiritual battle but at the time I was unaware of it. My husband and I were fighting and things weren't looking good. The "D" word was being thrown around and I believed it was over for us. For two days we weren't talking besides the little amounts we had too. In a very short space of time I had this sense that Holy Spirit was saying to me "Go and reconnect with your husband". I was yelling out, "No, I can't go through this pain anymore. Unless you take away my memory, I'm not doing it. I've been doing it long enough". As you can imagine, God had his own plans and I fought him every step of the way. The struggles my husband and I are going through are like a tsunami and satan doesn't want God to have the victory because the previous 2.5 weeks were absolutely amazing. A true vision of healing. Anyway, it didn't take me long to figure out I was caught up in a spiritual battle that is beyond me. I could hear the words ringing in my ear "Be Still". Satan had tried and somewhat succeeded with filling my head with things like "You deserve a better life than this one. You can have a husband that won't hurt you". (These were all lies from satan. I do deserve to be happy but not separated from my amazing, faithful husband). For those who know me, I'm a fighter and I generally don't allow satan's words to resonate within me but this was like a bomb had exploded and I didn't know which way was up.
Anyway, I seeked help through friends that were amazing in prayer. Their words that just seemed to be downloaded straight from God himself truly helped settle my soul. I seeked Biblical counsel from a wise woman whose words just seemed to fill me up. After seeing her, I came home and my inner being was seeking out my husband. I could tell that there was no running from this one. He and I are meant to be together and God has his hand over us. Even if I tried to run, I would always end up back in the arms of my beloved. When God has a plan for your life, you can try to fight it but like myself, he will drag you back to his path kicking and screaming if necessary. I can say that today, my husband and I are back in each others arms and ready to continue to rely on God for his healing within our lives. He has a plan for our marriage and our lives, there's no escaping it.
During this time of struggle, God met one of the many visions he provided me with. For the past 4 months, God had "World Vision" (Yes, the company) ringing in my ears and deep on my heart. Previously, World Vision put out 3 jobs some months back and I applied for them, staying faithful to God's visions and I was denied every step of the way. I was confused but I chose to stay faithful to his promises and not let the rejection get me down too much. Anyway, 2 weeks ago another casual position came up through World Vision, so I stepped out again in faith and applied. In the midst of this recent crisis, I received an email from World Vision whom have invited me for an interview June 4th. Can you believe it!?! God is so faithful to his promises!! He just knew that the timing was absolutely necessary. Thank You Jesus for loving me and my husband so very much and always coming through. I cannot believe how many promises that have come to light and yet my faith still waivers at times of spiritual attack. Forgive me father, I really am like a young child needing your guidance and direction every step of the way. I'm so thankful that you never give up on us. I love you so much!
Today is another day and I'm ready for the battles ahead. I'm still struggling and God knows what it is I need so I will wait as patiently as I can and watch him move mountains for me.
God Bless You All!
All in God's timing.
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