Blessings From Above

                             (Google Image. Our babies looked similar to these two.)
   

Today I'd like to share with you all a bit about the miracle my husband and I have been waiting for, for almost 7 years now. 

As you may remember my very first post was called "Double the Trouble and Double the Fun!" (feel free to click the link to refresh your memory if needed).  Well, over these past 2.5 years of healing from adultery God has shown me that we will be blessed with twin baby boys that will biologically be ours. In fact he gave me this very image the same night my husband confessed his sins and I left our home for a time because I thought our marriage could not survive such a devastation. As I would cry myself to sleep in my exhaustion I had this vision of my husband lying on the grass at a park, our twin boys were about 2 to 3 years old and they were jumping on top of him wrestling. They were all giggling and having such a good time. Our dog Missy was running around them in circles and it was as if I was standing back watching from a distance and joy filled my heart and then I'd wake up. As I woke up, I'd realise I wasn't at my house and that the adultery wasn't a nightmare and I would yell at God asking him why he would show me this vision when I had left him and by worldly, scientific standards my husband was diagnosed as "infertile". Each and every night I would have this very same dream/vision time and time again until the last night I had a dream/vision of my husband and I being Christian marriage counsellors for other couples who were facing the same devastation and loss as we are and we were together. After I woke up from this vision I felt a deep presence of The Holy Spirit and I felt drawn to my husband like The Holy Spirit was dragging me home so I went home and we've been healing ever since...

Anyway, so within 6 months of our healing journey I felt that The Holy Spirit whispered in my heart that our babies would be conceived in July/August but I didn't know which year. Obviously I thought oh yeah, it'll be next year and I will be healed by then!! Oh I was naive... September 15th 2015 it will be 3 years since my husbands confession and still to date (26th of June 2015) I'm not pregnant but I believe in my heart that I will be very soon. You see along the way I've had amazing men and women of God who have shared visions with me over this very topic. As of most recent a sister in Christ had a vision of me in hospital holding my twins in my arms. About a month later a brother in Christ had a vision of me walking down the road in the community we live in and my stomach was HUGE and the children we look after were by my side. I've also sensed that before Jesus blesses us with our babies that we would need to return home to where it all begun for the final closure and God has made a way for us to return when financially it seemed impossible. There have been many more other signs along the way but I'd have to share even more detail about my life for it to make sense. We even began the IVF process the year before my husband confessed but deep within our spirit we felt God said NO very firmly so we didn't continue.

I know that I know, that I know, that I will be pregnant VERY soon! I full heartedly believe our twin baby blessing is coming soon and that it all lines up with God knowing what sins were being hidden in darkness and he was holding our baby blessing back until we had healed from adultery and until restoration has taken place. I'm so very excited that very soon  that God will be lending us two of his precious children to raise them up in the way of The Lord. I Praise God for his many blessings we are about to receive and that he saved us not only from divorce but also the both of us from the pit of hell. Honestly, if God never did anything more for us we still have been blessed in abundance with an eternal life in Heaven!! Thank you Jesus!! 

Keep an eye out on this space because I will post to let you know our pregnancy news shortly!! Believe it or not, it's coming! 

Signing Off,

Blessed Child of God!!

Happy New Year 2015

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!

I've decided that this post is going to be about my hopes and dreams for 2015. I've done my reflections, I've made peace with my wrongdoings in 2014 with God, I've forgiven those that hurt me and all though there is some residual stuff being dealt with at the moment that will slip into the new year I'm not going to allow it to dictate my year through the grace of God. 

My hopes and dreams for 2015 are; To have a deeper revelation of the love Jesus has for me. A deeper revelation of my heavenly home and how short and fleeting this life is and that things that happen here are just ultimately there to make me more like Christ. To trust my Lord and Saviour no matter what things he allows to enter in my life and whatever outcomes come from the residual stuff I mentioned above. To communicate better with my husband by being more patient, selfless and loving in my responses. To settle in my new work role and to be able to glorify God and lead children to him. To continue to love those who I once considered enemies. To never bring up the past because it has truly been covered by the blood of Jesus and we have been made as white as snow. If the past comes to mind to just hand it back over to Jesus at the cross and thank him for removing those things from my life. I believe there is going to be a refreshment of my spirit and of my earthly body so that I can endure whatever comes my way in 2015. I believe it's going to be a year of fruitfulness in all areas of my life. I hope for much travel in 2015 because it's something my husband and I love to do. I believe our marriage is going to shine brightly because of what Jesus did, not because anything we did. I sense that 2015 is going to bring our miracle twin baby boys. I'm so excited that this feels like the year of our double blessings that can only come from The Lord. I sense that many doors from the past will be closed once and for all which is going to free us from the weight it has put upon us. I've offered these burdens up to The Lord and I'm so very thankful that they are in his protective, loving hands. I believe many other doors are going to swing wide open with endless opportunities that not only happen in 2015 but I believe will offer endless opportunities throughout the rest of our lives. I believe in those coming years there will be missional opportunities in orphanages within Africa, Pemba Island and Jamaica. I believe in the future we will adopt many children also. I see a bright future ahead but not with out it's bumps in the road but ultimately we will never walk down the same painful past issues either. I believe once God is satisfied and has walked you through a struggle within your life he will not make you go through it again when you've gone about it the right way with God in the centre. I expect many joyful, peaceful moments with many laughs with my husband, family members and the children. I'm hoping for my family members to come to know The Lord, repent and accept him for all the days of their lives from this point forth. I see this miracle unfold after our baby blessings. I believe those who I've forgiven will also come to know The Lord in a personal relationship and be blessed within the future also. I believe Gods hand of protection, correction and blessing is over myself, my husband and our children. 

I believe 2015 is the year of fulfilment, refreshment and things coming to light. I cannot wait to see what God does this year. Keep close and keep an eye on this blog section because God is always willing and ready when we have faith to believe in the earthly impossibles.

God Bless you all,

A Fruitful Year Ahead.

Happy New Years

Hi blogger sphere, Happy delayed New Years! Where shall I start? Well, CHRISTmas was a fantastic time shared with friends and family eating and being Merry. Whilst we shared this special time of year with believers and non believers my husband and I spent the day being thankful for our Lord and Saviour. It was great! God is so good. 

Fast forward to New Years Eve and I have to say that it was a spiritual struggle during the day and the pain of past sins was ever so clear so I spent most of the morning praying, crying, sleeping and repeat. I then spoke to a beautiful Godly friend who prayed for me and talked me through my struggles and helped me to decide to go out to the parties I was invited too. I dragged myself off the couch and got ready to go out and I must say once I was out with my husband all the worries just seemed to wash away the more I focused on the cross and being around other people the freer I became. Thank you Jesus!!! My husband and I brought in the new year surrounded by wonderful people and there was even a God appointed moment where some other ladies shared the struggles of sin and the impact it has had on their relationships. I can say that God gave me an opening to discuss in great detail my testimony and the struggles but also share my Saviour who has walked along side me through it all.

I can say that through the many images or bible scriptures I've read that 2014 is our year of reaping from what we've sown through sweat, blood and tears. Let's just saying I'm excited and anticipating the many blessings coming our way. I will be honest though, there are times where I wonder when or if it will all come to pass but then I remind myself or the Holy Spirit does and I remember to just trust in The Lord because he will make all our paths straight and he is turning this all around for my good. 

There has been a lot going on these past couple months with being ridiculed for being an outspoken believer at work, to the point where I handed in my resignation because work is work but God is life or death to me and we stand firm in our faith. As you know this job is quite new as well so that would have been a bit sad but this is the world we live in now. Non believers talk about tolerance all day long but yet when a Christian is an outspoken believer they become intolerant. Interesting isn't it? Anyway, then the enemy was trying to cause more issues at work which he was successful at for a bit but God swooped through and saved me from all of that ridiculousness. All I can say that, we are coming up against a lot of adversities which tells us that we are in the right place because firstly God sent us to this remote location and secondly the enemy is pissed that God now has willing tools he can use to help save the masses through us. There has been laughter and tears at the enemies attacks but either way we are not leaving this place until God says so. As for the job, if this one isn't the one that is absolutely fine by us because there are many more jobs here. Since it's through Gods will we can continue to see many miracles happen here. 

Local ladies have been coming to me and opening up to me about the sins that are within their marriage and the devastating pains they are having to endure. It's amazing that God is sending these people my way so that I can direct them to Jesus! I love it! Also, we've been able to bless a family we met in Indonesia  through the financial blessings God has given us. We've also helped provide some of the local families here with food and necessities. God is wonderful and I'm so thankful that he's blessing us so we can bless others. 

I'm enjoying these 3 weeks holidays and in all honesty I'm not looking forward to going back. I love just hanging out with the locals, chatting and being a blessing to them. I don't feel like working in a child care centre is actually my calling so I'm waiting very impatiently.... Forgive me father, for his redirection. 

Anyway, I will do my best this year to keep this up to date as much as possible.

May God bless you throughout this coming year! 

Signing off, 

Hopeful Missionary!

When God shows you favour...

Have you ever experienced extreme storms in your life and during that storm you've leant in closer to our amazing creator to then only be shown unmerited favour? Well, I can say that 6 months ago I would have never thought he would bother to bless me ever again since my marriage was in the biggest mess it could possibly be in. As I sit here and look back on the blessings in my life during this past year of trials I'm starting to clearly see where Gods hand has been. I can honestly say before today it has been quite difficult to see any such blessings because the pain and suffering was blocking my view however, today there is a little light shining through. 

Heavenly Father, I just want to thank you for always being in control of our lives and always having a plan beyond our own thought restrictions. I thank you for salvaging my marriage from the depths of hell and I thank you that in your word we will receive double for our trouble. I'm learning to trust you and to trust that this time of discipline is for my benefit. I want to thank you for blessing me with my husband and helping me to be more like you during our trials together. I thank you for the growth I'm seeing so clearly in him and I thank you for beginning to remove the "hurt scales" from my eyes so that I can see the man I love so clearly as well as myself being your beautiful blessed daughter. I also want to thank you for never leaving me, nor forsaking me and having a plan to see me prosper beyond my wildest dreams just as long as I keep relying on you. I'm sorry for the times I try to take control of the reins time and time again but I thank you that you do not get angry with me and stay by my side whilst walking me through it. I thank you for blessing us with this new and wonderful adventure we are currently on and that you answer even the smallest of requests. You continue to amaze me and you do it so quietly that I could easily miss your blessings if I don't keep my eyes and heart focused on you. Thank you for bringing this awareness to my heart. I love you daddy in Jesus name, Amen!

As you can see I've just had a significant revelation so I had to take the time to acknowledge that. Thank you Jesus!

May God Bless You All,

Growth beyond measure!

Blessings come from our sufferings...

As I was listening to the song "Blessings" by Evin Amiri, Ft Onitsha the lyrics ran deep inside of me and resonated in my heart. Tears began to well up in my eyes and the tears began to roll down my face. See lyrics below:

"We pray for blessing, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep.

We pray for healing, prosperity.

We pray for your mighty hand to ease our suffering.

All the while, you hear each spoken need, your love is way too much to give us lesser things.

Cos what if your blessings come through raindrops,

What if your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know you're near.

What if trials of this life are you mercies in disguise.

We pray for wisdom, your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel you near.

We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love.

As if every promise from your word is not enough.

And though, the while you hear each desparate plea,

And long that we have faith to believe.

Cos what if your blessings come through rain drops,

What if your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know you're near.

What if trials of this life are you mercies in disguise.

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win, 

We know, the pain reminds us, this is not, this is not our home.

This is not our home.......

what if your blessings come through rain drops,

What if your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know you're near.

What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life,

Is the revealing of a great thirst this world can't satisfy?

What if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights; are your mercies in disguise?

Thank you for your blessings!"

The message in this song is so heart wrenching. When we realise that this life is only temporary and that the pain and disappointments we endure whilst here are only for a short time, we will begin to look beyond our struggles and search for God. It's difficult to see my struggles as blessings but what if I truly can get a revelation of this? What if it's true that blessings come through raindrops and healing comes through tears... If that's the case then I'm on the road to recovery. Either way, it's a poetic twist on what tears usually mean. We know as Christians that God bottles up every tear we have ever shed and that Jesus cries with us but sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that when we can't sense his presence  I know personally that I struggle with this at times. He can seem so distant but in reality, he never leaves our side. It's important to remember that this place is not our real "home", it's very temporary when you begin to have an eternal perspective. To us mere humans we think living 80+ years is a long time because we view it from our circumstances but to God who is timeless, 80+ years is a blink of an eye. I know its hard to fathom such a thing but that's why we have grace for each and every moment. 

I'm going to work on having this sort of perspective as if my tears are leading me closer and closer to healing and that the sufferings I go through are building a stronger, more reliable faith within me because if I choose to see it any other way it could be a rough ride for the remainder of my years. I have to look forward to my life in heaven, reunited with the Heavenly Daddy. I have to look forward to the new earth he will eventually create and just pray that in that next life I will have the perfect, sinless life where people say what they mean and do what they say. Until then, I will worship God through the good and the bad and just pray for peace in this lifetime. 

May God Bless you all in abundance and I pray for each and every one of you that you keep hope alive because without it, it's a very lonely world. Keep your eyes set on Christ and remember, this life is just for a short time. Our true promises we have to look forward too.


Blessings From Above!

Double the Trouble and Double the Fun!

Today I've spent the day thinking of love's losses and gains, the highs and lows of the past almost 6 years of marriage and I came to a sudden halt. What can I say, I hit a sore spot but a spot that my amazing Heavenly Father is working through with me. The word that comes to mind is, INFERTILITY! Yep, you read correctly it has been well known for 3 years now that we are currently infertile as the doctors would like to put it. I've spent years mourning, accepting, trying to just rely on God for a season, thinking over IVF and whether it aligns with our beliefs or not. I came to terms with our situation some time ago but something catastrophic, one of lifes HUGE tests has brought this out of the closet once again. You may know what I'm talking about. You know how when you think you've gone through a life struggle and eventually saw the sun shining once again on the other side and figured hey, you're okay now and then a monstrous storm comes along that wasn't even related but it scrapes it back up to the surface!?! I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Well that has occurred for me. 

It's interesting, through the recent storm God has been speaking to me much more clearly and vividly filling my head with images that it's so profound. One of those images he provided through my storm was my husband rolling around on the grass at the park with what looked like TWIN BOYS jumping all over him and our dog running circles around them. Twins?? Could it be? Am I just wanting children so bad that I imagine this to be true? Or is it really God showing me something so profound and giving me something to hold onto? I like to believe that it was one of Gods many special promises for me. What I can tell you is that this vision was given to me 7 months ago along with a few others and that my husband and I are in a season of Healing and Restoration. 

You ever heard of the saying: "All in Gods timing?" Well, it's biblical. So I do believe that he has a greater purpose for my life, our infertility and our marital struggles. I know this because God is Good and he will turn all things bad around for the good. You don't believe me? Well, I'll prove it... Stay tuned to see this miracle unfold. 

Signing off,

Future Mother To Be!

God Bless