Today I've spent the day thinking of love's losses and gains, the highs and lows of the past almost 6 years of marriage and I came to a sudden halt. What can I say, I hit a sore spot but a spot that my amazing Heavenly Father is working through with me. The word that comes to mind is, INFERTILITY! Yep, you read correctly it has been well known for 3 years now that we are currently infertile as the doctors would like to put it. I've spent years mourning, accepting, trying to just rely on God for a season, thinking over IVF and whether it aligns with our beliefs or not. I came to terms with our situation some time ago but something catastrophic, one of lifes HUGE tests has brought this out of the closet once again. You may know what I'm talking about. You know how when you think you've gone through a life struggle and eventually saw the sun shining once again on the other side and figured hey, you're okay now and then a monstrous storm comes along that wasn't even related but it scrapes it back up to the surface!?! I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Well that has occurred for me.
It's interesting, through the recent storm God has been speaking to me much more clearly and vividly filling my head with images that it's so profound. One of those images he provided through my storm was my husband rolling around on the grass at the park with what looked like TWIN BOYS jumping all over him and our dog running circles around them. Twins?? Could it be? Am I just wanting children so bad that I imagine this to be true? Or is it really God showing me something so profound and giving me something to hold onto? I like to believe that it was one of Gods many special promises for me. What I can tell you is that this vision was given to me 7 months ago along with a few others and that my husband and I are in a season of Healing and Restoration.
You ever heard of the saying: "All in Gods timing?" Well, it's biblical. So I do believe that he has a greater purpose for my life, our infertility and our marital struggles. I know this because God is Good and he will turn all things bad around for the good. You don't believe me? Well, I'll prove it... Stay tuned to see this miracle unfold.
Signing off,
Future Mother To Be!
God Bless
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