Reflecting on 2014

Hi bloggersphere, 

So, today I've spent my day in prayer talking to Jesus about this years various events and in reflection of the season he has been taking myself through individually and also within my marriage. By doing so I've come to see the areas where I truly needed Jesus. I realised some of the errors of my ways which lead to true repentance and forgiveness. I hurt people that hurt me. I tried so hard to not and do the right thing but instead I allowed anger and bitterness to fester and I allowed the devil to use me in his schemes. I shake my head in shame but at the same time I truly know I am free from those wrongs as Jesus washed them all away, past, present and future sins have all been wiped away. I'm spotless because of Jesus paying the ultimate price. Beyond taking the time to acknowledge my own wrong doings I've also spent time releasing those who have wronged me. I have been in this traumatic season for 2.5 years now and just prior to Christmas, Holy Spirit truly spoke to my heart and told me to reach out to those who had harmed me, forgive them and put out my hand of friendship towards them. This was one of the hardest things I had to do because I also hurt one of the people who hurt me as a reaction to their actions. It was sinful and wrong but I had to own that as well. It's interesting when Jesus calls you to become friends with your enemies because it truly strips away any pride you had. I needed that. Pride is a sneaky thing. It comes in without you even noticing it and takes root. I'm so thankful to Jesus for taking me through this process to up root that evil pride. 

I've also learnt this year that the enemies main plans in this life is to steal, kill and destroy. I'm not saying that I hadn't heard that before but I truly didn't understand the depths of it. Now I do. The enemy is trying to destroy relationships and in many cases he's been successful. I'm so thankful that the scales have been removed from mine and my husbands eyes in this area. We realise that when our communication heads towards a place we never intended it to go that the enemy is working his evil schemes in the midst of it and that it's important for us to stop, breathe and pray it out by acknowledging Jesus and thanking him for the new life he has given us. I admit, it's not always that easy because emotionally we can get caught up in the moment but we do try to stop and realise what is going on and bring restoration through the finished work on the cross.

We also had a wonderful overseas trip to America to see my husbands family which truly came at a much needed time where we both felt so defeated in our marriage from the past struggles. It was amazing to have family members near who could speak life into us individually and together. Their love, prayers and words of wisdom brought life back into our marriage and I will forever be thankful for this. Those 5 weeks abroad were so amazing and transformational. 

This year there has been changes in where we reside. We have been remote living since 2013 and we were situated in Wadeye, Port Keats a remote indigenous community. I was working in a creche and my husband was working at JobFind. Just short of a year we felt that God was closing this specific door in our lives but we were unsure where that meant we would end up in the long run. We prayed fervently into it and my husband quit his job and 3 weeks later I did the same. A school had contacted us in regards to a houseparent position in another community and before we knew we had the job we both had quit our jobs and just took a leap of faith trusting in God to catch us. Boy did he catch us!! It was about a day or two before we had to move house because someone else was going to be occupying the house my old work provided and then we got the phone call we were trusting in God for. We got the job!! WOW, God is so amazing. He's so trustworthy. So off we went on a new adventure trusting in God to provide all the way. We started the job a few weeks later and moved into our new home. Before we knew it we had 12 teenage girls in our care!! 12.... Yes, I said it, 12! I know what you're thinking... Boy you are CRAZY!?! Yes, I thought, Oh Lord, really 12? Are you sure? Well, he was definitely sure but the weeks ahead we weren't prepared for. The enemy was running riot through our house on a spiritual level causing behavioural issues you probably wouldn't imagine. By the second term my cup felt almost empty like I was hanging on by a thread. Through this though, I learnt to trust God in everything we do. He showed me areas where I needed growth and used this situation we found ourselves in to rub off the rough edges within me. It's funny when you think God leads you some where so you can be a witness to people and lead them to Jesus which was happening also but majority of the past two terms were truly for me and my character building. We finished the last term off with an enjoyable time with our many girls. I took the girls on a shopping spree where they were able to pick out modest dresses, shoes, jewellery and even a little makeup. They all got dressed up for the end of year dinner outing at a nice restaurant and I have to say they all just looked absolutely beautiful!! 

There have been many lows and a few highs this year which I sense is the residual stuff left over from the season of breaking us down and building us back up again. 2012 to 2014 has been some hard years but one long season. You see, a season in our life doesn't necessarily mean a standard 3-4 month season like the weather. It's been difficult. It's been heart breaking and heart restoring. It's been confronting, full of fear, uncertainty and just down right scary at times but God has brought us through it all. 

There's one moment that sticks in my mind so vividly from recent times with our girls within our new position. One of my girls was reading a bible story at the table and I went and sat next to her and as I showed up it just so happens she finished what she was reading and began the next book of the bible. The story was about Rebekah and Isaac. Now, if you don't know their story you can visit the link provided. http://www.essex1.com/pages/paul/bible23.html You will see in this link that Rebekah was barren and unable to have Isaac's children. After a long time of many tears and prayers from Rebekah her husband Isaac decided to pray fervently on her behalf because he knew how much having children meant to her and after him praying to God she became pregnant and had twin baby boys. Yes, miracles do happen with God. After my girl read this, I looked at her and said do you remember what God promised me and your uncle? She said Yes, aunty. God promised you and uncle twin baby boys just like Rebekah in the story. I said, that's right he sure did. I told her I believe God wanted this moment to happen and you to read me this story to remind me to hold on to Gods promise. She smiled and it was such a beautiful moment. It didn't end there because I went to bed later on and listened to a random preacher on a sermon called Broken Families. Here I was expecting it to be about marriages which my marriage had been struggling with all the high demands of the job, the stress of the past etc and the sermon ended up being Rebekah's story!! WOW!! God is amazing isn't he. It's amazing how he chooses to talk to us. 

I had many encounters with God this year. Many visions, words spoken over me and my hip was healed by The Holy Spirit. I couldn't walk at all and a man of God and his family all laid hands on me and I felt The Holy Spirit enter in my body, the warmth radiating from my head where this man had his hand and the healing took place. I felt my leg grow and I got up and I was able to run!! I was able to run!! It was soooooooo crazy!! God is so amazing. Thank you Jesus. By his stripes I am HEALED. I could go on and on about the many interactions I had with Jesus but honestly, I've already written a book. Those interactions have kept me going because walking through the things I've had to overcome has been exhausting. I'm so thankful that Jesus never left my side once and was always walking with me, holding me up and providing me with much rest. It has been a year of exhaustion and rest to follow up with after the exhaustion. 

Looking forward to 2015 and the change of season ahead.

God Bless, 

Daughter of the most high.