To The Other Women

To the women who played their role in committing adultery with my husband...........

I FORGIVE YOU! I have already forgiven my husband but now it's your turn. I also accept your apologies whether you are sorry or not because Jesus' blood covers ALL sins, yours included. You see the reason I can forgive you all is because Jesus first forgave me for my sins and took them on the cross. Forgiveness freed me from being tide down to you spiritually and emotionally. I will no longer allow you to have power over my life. You have no right to live rent free in my mind, emotionally abusing me with the visions of you with my dearly beloved husband. No longer will I allow the devil to use your sins to harm me and keep me trapped in bondages of insecurities and depression. You may have had a glimpse of my life by trying to make it your own but I now know you never took anything from me because all you got was the superficial front which had no depth to it and with every embrace with my husband you were hurting yourself, your family and your walk with Jesus. I at least know from my husbands point of view there was no depth to the time he spent with you. It was superficial and sin lead. I truly feel sorry for you that you felt that getting involved with a married man was the only way for you to feel a sense of love and wholeness that you weren't getting elsewhere, only to find out that it made you even more empty inside riddled with guilt and shame. 

I want to let you know that you are worth so much more than that. You are NOT a bottom feeder trying to eat up the crumbs of my marriage even though your actions said otherwise. You are a beautiful woman of God. You are created in his very image. God knows how many hairs are on your head and how many tears you have cried. He knows the desires of your heart and the hurts you have had to endure. JESUS LOVES YOU and I LOVE YOU TOO!! You are my sister in Christ who was lost, broken and being used by the devil himself. I pray for you ladies regularly for your salvation and that God heals your broken hearts and the damage done in your own relationships because deep down I know that this is not what you wanted for your life. I know that you didn't just wake up one day and say "I'm going to have an affair or commit adultery with a married man". I truly believe you are a kind hearted person who was hurting and looking for comfort and affection in all the wrong places only to have wound up in the arms of my beloved husband who was also broken. I realise what you were searching out in my husband and him in you couldn't fulfil either of you because only Jesus can fulfil those areas of your heart and God only blesses the marriage covenant not relationships outside of his perfect will. Your time with my husband was setup and arranged by the devil himself. As the bible says;

Ephesians 6:12 - "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

This very verse tells me that you aren't the issue for you were lost in sin with scales over your eyes put their by the enemy which you fell for his deceit. My fight is with the devil himself and honestly, I just need to stand firm and claim Jesus finished work on the cross because the devil himself has already been beaten.

I pray that through this turmoil you have learnt more about yourself and who you are to Jesus. You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I know that you may go through life with a painted smile on your face and to those on the outside you seem to have it all together but on the inside you are dying little bit by little bit and drowning in your own tears. I'm so sorry if this is where you are at or if you have experienced this in the past but know that through the adulterous acts you brought that very feeling into my life also. 

GOD RESTORED WHAT THE LOCUST HAD EATEN!

I can tell you now though that Jesus healed me completely and walked with me side by side through this healing journey. I'M HEALED!! Praise God. I wouldn't trade the closeness with my Heavenly Daddy I've experienced through this whole ordeal so thank you. It only drove me closer to Jesus, not further away. I can hold my head high knowing that I wasn't the unfaithful one in this marriage but we all have been unfaithful to Jesus and I've had to repent in this area also. I have found my true identity through this devastation and found my worth in Jesus. No longer do I feel less prettier than you because of yours and my husbands actions. You see for a while there what you and my husband did, it broke me and the enemy spoke ugly words in my head day in, day out telling me I wasn't pretty enough or worth being faithful too. These were LIES!! I must admit for a while I started to believe it but NOT ANYMORE! I'm free!! I pray you are never on the receiving end of a spouse cheating on you because once it happens only Jesus can breathe life back into a marriage torn apart by the devastations that come with sexual sin but know that it is possible not only to be alive but to thrive as well. I sure am! 

My heart is whole, I'm full of joy that cannot be taken away by life's ups and downs or the actions of others. I'M FREE and I pray you are too. 

Jesus died for you too. Not just the faithful spouse but for the adulterous one also. Jesus died for all sins so that we can be made right with our Heavenly Father so that we have everlasting life in Heaven. 

Have you accepted Jesus into your heart? Do you know what Jesus did for you on the cross? 

I no longer fear you and honestly, I just feel empathy for you now. When I think of you, I wonder whether you have accepted Jesus into your life and if you are walking out that faith in your life to the point where the sins of the past are no longer reoccurring in your life. I hope that the pain I had to endure from yours and my husbands sinful ways at least led you to search out God in your brokenness as it did for us. Know that you are precious to God.

THANK YOU that through this whole experience it has only driven my husband and I closer to one another and we no longer take our marriage covenant for granted. God used this experience to free my husband from sinful bondages that had him tied down to the pit of hell. He is free and is a faithful man to Jesus and to me now. I wouldn't trade that for anything. The old marriage is dead and buried but the new marriage covenant is spotless and beautiful in Jesus. I pray you have this now too.

I'm looking forward to our visit down South soon because I'm free and can face where it all took place. It's time for us to close the book of the past and start a fresh, I hope you have successfully done the same. It's amazing!!! Life is beautiful and so are we. 

Healed, Whole and Loved for eternity!!

Signing Off,

Faithful Servant of God!

Redemption From Adultery

For all those who know our testimony you will know that devastation hit us 2.5 years ago when my husband confessed that he had been committing adultery. It completely shattered my heart and I felt it smash into a million pieces and land on the floor that very day.. Looking back on how far we have come and the journey Jesus has had us on is remarkable to say the least. There has been so much healing that has taken place over the last few years, it's truly incredible. Our marriage was saved by Jesus himself. Without him we would have been another ugly marital statistic that ended up in divorce. That is not part of Gods plan. God didn't cause these things to happen, it was the enemy. He comes to kill, steal and destroy and let me tell you, he stole from me what was valuable. That very day my husband confessed the old me died and so did he. At the time it seemed that we would never come back from that devastation and that life would be meaningless and lost from that point forth. However, Jesus has been showing us that there is purpose to this life beyond our suffering and there is freedom in the finished work on the cross. Forgiveness has been so important in this process and just when you think you've forgiven everything something ugly will boil up inside of you that you need to take to the cross and forgive all over again. Forgiveness of such sin is like layers of an onion. Bit by bit The Holy Spirit allows a different layer to peal off allowing you to face it so that it can be dealt with. You see The Holy Spirit will not give you more than you can handle in the moment so he will allow things to surface gradually until there is no more left. 

Through this journey I have had to face my very own identity crisis, not knowing who I am and whether I was valuable because of my husbands actions. The lies of the enemy would tell me that I'm not worth being faithful too and that I wasn't pretty enough or the other women were sexier than I. I have to tell you, I started to believe it and it sunk so deeply in my heart that it created deep insecurities that only The Father could deal with. I have been focusing more and more on who I am in Christ and as I do this I've started to see my worth through Jesus eyes. I'm a beautiful child of God. I'm worth more to him than rubies and diamonds. I was and am worth dying for!! That's amazing when you realise that God sent his son to die JUST FOR YOU! Thank you Jesus for seeing the value in me even when I can't see it in myself. I also want those of you out there that have been dealt this ugly card that your spouse cheating is not your fault. It's truly not. It's another lie from the devil that we get caught up believing. "Maybe if you were more intimate he wouldn't have had to cheat on you etc..." It's all RUBBISH! I believe it's important to own our own mistakes in our relationships too and during this healing process it's such a great time to do a self analysis and own up the faults you may have played BUT in saying this THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR SOMEONE CHEATING! NONE! I didn't realise it but I had my husband in my God spot, I idolised the ground he walked on and my expectations of him were to be Jesus. I wasn't purposely doing this but thats the kind of pressure I had on him. No one can be Jesus, except Jesus! We are all sinners who have fallen short and need a saviour that's just the reality of it. My husband was so caught up in the sin of lust through pornography introduced to him at such a young age, that thing had him tied down in bondage and only Jesus could free him from that. It breaks my heart thinking of the many many lives out there caught in these very same traps... It's terrible but there is hope in Jesus...

I have to tell you God has had us on a journey living in the outback and caring for Indigenous children and has given me purpose beyond myself. We get to be like Jesus to these children each and every day and share the gospel with many. There are so many people who are hurting much more than I and who are much more lost than I and I tell you what, it so helps to put your eyes on Jesus and to help others whilst going through your storm. God has allowed my heart to heal in so many ways from the adultery but has also allowed my heart to break for the Aboriginal people here in Australia. Their lives are precious and it's our job to show them just how much they are loved. 

Well, it's now holiday time for the children and their families and God has shown me that it's time to return to the place where my devastation was laid upon me, back to the home state. I believe God is showing me that this is a necessary step, the last step to our healing journey before we can close the book and start a fresh. I tell you what, I have been so nervous, scared and fear driven these past few weeks leading up to this big step ahead of us BUT I know that fear is not from God because perfect love casts out all fear and God is LOVE. It's a tactic of the enemy because he wants me to back out and not follow through. Well, he's got another thing coming because we are going!!! I'm so thankful that my days are generally filled with joy for the most part. I won't lie to you, there are still the odd moments where I'm back, deep in it BUT it's not the same and it definitely doesn't last as long. I believe the day that I no longer feel any residual pain is the day I'm finally free and I know it's so so close!! THANK YOU JESUS! Please pray for my husband and I as we face this last hurdle that God will walk with us and guide our every step. That The Holy Spirit will protect my mind and that the angels with keep us safe and out of harms way. It's a time to rejoice because through Christ Jesus we have overcome the devils schemes of destruction and God rewards his faithful servants for standing firm through the trials we face. Praise God for our NEW lives in HIM! Amen

Signing Off,

Warrior Princess!

Happy New Year 2015

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!

I've decided that this post is going to be about my hopes and dreams for 2015. I've done my reflections, I've made peace with my wrongdoings in 2014 with God, I've forgiven those that hurt me and all though there is some residual stuff being dealt with at the moment that will slip into the new year I'm not going to allow it to dictate my year through the grace of God. 

My hopes and dreams for 2015 are; To have a deeper revelation of the love Jesus has for me. A deeper revelation of my heavenly home and how short and fleeting this life is and that things that happen here are just ultimately there to make me more like Christ. To trust my Lord and Saviour no matter what things he allows to enter in my life and whatever outcomes come from the residual stuff I mentioned above. To communicate better with my husband by being more patient, selfless and loving in my responses. To settle in my new work role and to be able to glorify God and lead children to him. To continue to love those who I once considered enemies. To never bring up the past because it has truly been covered by the blood of Jesus and we have been made as white as snow. If the past comes to mind to just hand it back over to Jesus at the cross and thank him for removing those things from my life. I believe there is going to be a refreshment of my spirit and of my earthly body so that I can endure whatever comes my way in 2015. I believe it's going to be a year of fruitfulness in all areas of my life. I hope for much travel in 2015 because it's something my husband and I love to do. I believe our marriage is going to shine brightly because of what Jesus did, not because anything we did. I sense that 2015 is going to bring our miracle twin baby boys. I'm so excited that this feels like the year of our double blessings that can only come from The Lord. I sense that many doors from the past will be closed once and for all which is going to free us from the weight it has put upon us. I've offered these burdens up to The Lord and I'm so very thankful that they are in his protective, loving hands. I believe many other doors are going to swing wide open with endless opportunities that not only happen in 2015 but I believe will offer endless opportunities throughout the rest of our lives. I believe in those coming years there will be missional opportunities in orphanages within Africa, Pemba Island and Jamaica. I believe in the future we will adopt many children also. I see a bright future ahead but not with out it's bumps in the road but ultimately we will never walk down the same painful past issues either. I believe once God is satisfied and has walked you through a struggle within your life he will not make you go through it again when you've gone about it the right way with God in the centre. I expect many joyful, peaceful moments with many laughs with my husband, family members and the children. I'm hoping for my family members to come to know The Lord, repent and accept him for all the days of their lives from this point forth. I see this miracle unfold after our baby blessings. I believe those who I've forgiven will also come to know The Lord in a personal relationship and be blessed within the future also. I believe Gods hand of protection, correction and blessing is over myself, my husband and our children. 

I believe 2015 is the year of fulfilment, refreshment and things coming to light. I cannot wait to see what God does this year. Keep close and keep an eye on this blog section because God is always willing and ready when we have faith to believe in the earthly impossibles.

God Bless you all,

A Fruitful Year Ahead.

Reflecting on 2014

Hi bloggersphere, 

So, today I've spent my day in prayer talking to Jesus about this years various events and in reflection of the season he has been taking myself through individually and also within my marriage. By doing so I've come to see the areas where I truly needed Jesus. I realised some of the errors of my ways which lead to true repentance and forgiveness. I hurt people that hurt me. I tried so hard to not and do the right thing but instead I allowed anger and bitterness to fester and I allowed the devil to use me in his schemes. I shake my head in shame but at the same time I truly know I am free from those wrongs as Jesus washed them all away, past, present and future sins have all been wiped away. I'm spotless because of Jesus paying the ultimate price. Beyond taking the time to acknowledge my own wrong doings I've also spent time releasing those who have wronged me. I have been in this traumatic season for 2.5 years now and just prior to Christmas, Holy Spirit truly spoke to my heart and told me to reach out to those who had harmed me, forgive them and put out my hand of friendship towards them. This was one of the hardest things I had to do because I also hurt one of the people who hurt me as a reaction to their actions. It was sinful and wrong but I had to own that as well. It's interesting when Jesus calls you to become friends with your enemies because it truly strips away any pride you had. I needed that. Pride is a sneaky thing. It comes in without you even noticing it and takes root. I'm so thankful to Jesus for taking me through this process to up root that evil pride. 

I've also learnt this year that the enemies main plans in this life is to steal, kill and destroy. I'm not saying that I hadn't heard that before but I truly didn't understand the depths of it. Now I do. The enemy is trying to destroy relationships and in many cases he's been successful. I'm so thankful that the scales have been removed from mine and my husbands eyes in this area. We realise that when our communication heads towards a place we never intended it to go that the enemy is working his evil schemes in the midst of it and that it's important for us to stop, breathe and pray it out by acknowledging Jesus and thanking him for the new life he has given us. I admit, it's not always that easy because emotionally we can get caught up in the moment but we do try to stop and realise what is going on and bring restoration through the finished work on the cross.

We also had a wonderful overseas trip to America to see my husbands family which truly came at a much needed time where we both felt so defeated in our marriage from the past struggles. It was amazing to have family members near who could speak life into us individually and together. Their love, prayers and words of wisdom brought life back into our marriage and I will forever be thankful for this. Those 5 weeks abroad were so amazing and transformational. 

This year there has been changes in where we reside. We have been remote living since 2013 and we were situated in Wadeye, Port Keats a remote indigenous community. I was working in a creche and my husband was working at JobFind. Just short of a year we felt that God was closing this specific door in our lives but we were unsure where that meant we would end up in the long run. We prayed fervently into it and my husband quit his job and 3 weeks later I did the same. A school had contacted us in regards to a houseparent position in another community and before we knew we had the job we both had quit our jobs and just took a leap of faith trusting in God to catch us. Boy did he catch us!! It was about a day or two before we had to move house because someone else was going to be occupying the house my old work provided and then we got the phone call we were trusting in God for. We got the job!! WOW, God is so amazing. He's so trustworthy. So off we went on a new adventure trusting in God to provide all the way. We started the job a few weeks later and moved into our new home. Before we knew it we had 12 teenage girls in our care!! 12.... Yes, I said it, 12! I know what you're thinking... Boy you are CRAZY!?! Yes, I thought, Oh Lord, really 12? Are you sure? Well, he was definitely sure but the weeks ahead we weren't prepared for. The enemy was running riot through our house on a spiritual level causing behavioural issues you probably wouldn't imagine. By the second term my cup felt almost empty like I was hanging on by a thread. Through this though, I learnt to trust God in everything we do. He showed me areas where I needed growth and used this situation we found ourselves in to rub off the rough edges within me. It's funny when you think God leads you some where so you can be a witness to people and lead them to Jesus which was happening also but majority of the past two terms were truly for me and my character building. We finished the last term off with an enjoyable time with our many girls. I took the girls on a shopping spree where they were able to pick out modest dresses, shoes, jewellery and even a little makeup. They all got dressed up for the end of year dinner outing at a nice restaurant and I have to say they all just looked absolutely beautiful!! 

There have been many lows and a few highs this year which I sense is the residual stuff left over from the season of breaking us down and building us back up again. 2012 to 2014 has been some hard years but one long season. You see, a season in our life doesn't necessarily mean a standard 3-4 month season like the weather. It's been difficult. It's been heart breaking and heart restoring. It's been confronting, full of fear, uncertainty and just down right scary at times but God has brought us through it all. 

There's one moment that sticks in my mind so vividly from recent times with our girls within our new position. One of my girls was reading a bible story at the table and I went and sat next to her and as I showed up it just so happens she finished what she was reading and began the next book of the bible. The story was about Rebekah and Isaac. Now, if you don't know their story you can visit the link provided. http://www.essex1.com/pages/paul/bible23.html You will see in this link that Rebekah was barren and unable to have Isaac's children. After a long time of many tears and prayers from Rebekah her husband Isaac decided to pray fervently on her behalf because he knew how much having children meant to her and after him praying to God she became pregnant and had twin baby boys. Yes, miracles do happen with God. After my girl read this, I looked at her and said do you remember what God promised me and your uncle? She said Yes, aunty. God promised you and uncle twin baby boys just like Rebekah in the story. I said, that's right he sure did. I told her I believe God wanted this moment to happen and you to read me this story to remind me to hold on to Gods promise. She smiled and it was such a beautiful moment. It didn't end there because I went to bed later on and listened to a random preacher on a sermon called Broken Families. Here I was expecting it to be about marriages which my marriage had been struggling with all the high demands of the job, the stress of the past etc and the sermon ended up being Rebekah's story!! WOW!! God is amazing isn't he. It's amazing how he chooses to talk to us. 

I had many encounters with God this year. Many visions, words spoken over me and my hip was healed by The Holy Spirit. I couldn't walk at all and a man of God and his family all laid hands on me and I felt The Holy Spirit enter in my body, the warmth radiating from my head where this man had his hand and the healing took place. I felt my leg grow and I got up and I was able to run!! I was able to run!! It was soooooooo crazy!! God is so amazing. Thank you Jesus. By his stripes I am HEALED. I could go on and on about the many interactions I had with Jesus but honestly, I've already written a book. Those interactions have kept me going because walking through the things I've had to overcome has been exhausting. I'm so thankful that Jesus never left my side once and was always walking with me, holding me up and providing me with much rest. It has been a year of exhaustion and rest to follow up with after the exhaustion. 

Looking forward to 2015 and the change of season ahead.

God Bless, 

Daughter of the most high.

Healing Testimony

Hi guys/gals, I know it's been a LONG time since I've written anything. Please forgive me, life got the better of me by keeping me busy busy busy. You know that's the devils tactics right? Keep you busy and keep you off track. LOL Anyway,

6th/7th/8th Of December 2014

My husband and I were walking through the mall doing the never ending Christmas shopping as we all seem to do around this crazy time of year and all of a sudden my sciatic nerve decided to act up which runs from my left hip, down my buttocks and to my thigh with a sharp excruciating pain that ran down to my foot making it almost impossible to step without feeling like I was going to fall to the floor. Well, this has been happening for the last 2.5 years on and off. I waited a few minutes and then it went away and I was thankful to Jesus that it was a short visit. I went back to walking and shopping and about 5 minutes later it returned which had never happened before in such a short amount of time. Only this time it didn't go away. I was hopping along in the store in agony and trying to push through it just to get out the door and get to the car. Well, we got back to the hotel room and I tell you what it was the worst nights sleep I've had in a while. I asked my husband to pray over me and he did and I woke up the next morning still in pain. It was a little less than the night before but only a slight difference. Back in the car in agony for the long 2.5 hour drive home and I couldn't sleep or get comfortable so as soon as I got home it was straight to bed with painkillers to numb the pain. We were meant to go to a Christmas carols gathering just down the road and I just couldn't make it but my husband went. Anyway, a couple hours later my husband returns and tells me that a brother in Christ wants to pray for me and so my husband wanted to make sure I was decent. I felt that inner voice of the Holy Spirit tell me to get up and go to him. I listened to him and followed his instruction and lent on my husband and hopped the whole way there. Once there my amazing brother in Christ, his wife and children laid hands on me and prayed and before long I felt a warmth over my head where he had his hand and eventually I felt the Holy Spirit go through my body! WOW!!! For those of you who haven't experienced this it is kind of like when you get goose bumps from the cold only 100% more stronger and warmer and if you've heard of people that say things like someone stepped on your grave (so wrong biblically) but you know what I mean, well it's like that but it's pleasing, amazing and feels like an instant ooze of love going through you. Well, that happened and then my brother in Christ's wife who we will call "Cee" laid her hands on my right leg and prayed that God would fix my hips because of the tightness one of my legs was longer than the other. I kid you not as she was doing this I opened my eye and I saw my right leg GROW!! It grew from the calf area not from the knee. I know this because I had my legs propped up on a box and before my very eyes it grew!!!! I was even in SHOCK! Within a short time my brother in Christ who I will call "Tee" asked me to stand up and see if it's better. I got up gently and stepped on the left sore leg and then began to bend my leg, move my hip from side to side and BAM I WAS FREE AND HEALED. PRAISE THE LORD! You know what I did next right? Well, I decided to walk up the path and then I ran on it to just make sure I wasn't going crazy and seeing things. HALELLUJAH! I WAS AND AM HEALED! It's soooooooo amazing experiencing something so out of this world it's amazing. Well, I went home late that night powered up for Jesus by the Holy Spirit and I couldn't sleep. I ended up praising and worshipping Jesus and dancing for Jesus for AGES and then I crashed out and went to sleep. AMAZING!

The next day I woke up with a sore right knee.... Ooooh that sneaky wretched devil!! He was trying to discredit Jesus and his healing. I decided I would do my best to praise Jesus through it and declare that I am healed. I ignored the pain for hours and hours. In fact I went out for lunch with a friend and we walked around and came home and by the time I came home the pain was throbbing in my knee... Remember, the original pain was in my left hip and now the pain is in my right knee!?! Crazy. So, I got home and kept praising Jesus through it and after resting it and raising my leg it just wasn't going away. I couldn't cope anymore and so I went and got an ice pack, put it on my knee and took a painkiller and went to bed. Whilst in bed I was listening to healing sermons and declaring that I was healed through the blood of Jesus. Next day the pain was GONE! Once and for all! Wooohooooo!!!!! Jesus showed up and showed that devil he had no place here and freed me from those pains once and for all. Today it's the 14th of December and guess what....?? NO PAIN! Thank you Jesus! You are a mighty and loving God. My healer and provider. Thank you thank you thank you! Please never doubt the power of Jesus finished work on the cross and the Holy Spirit he left us when he went to heaven.

Praise The Lord!!

Signing Off,

Thankful Servent