Freedom to start over

The past few weeks had been quite a struggle for me up until about 4 days ago. I kept asking God "when will this suffering end? I cannot keep going on like this. It's too much. I poured out my heart and let God know that I know that he loves me and has a plan to prosper me however, I don't think I can hold on much longer. After many sleepless, teary eyed nights I woke up one morning and a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Thank you Jesus!!! 

I've realised today that I have the freedom to start over in my marriage because Jesus paid the ultimate price for me and when he said "it is finished" he meant it is finished. I no longer need to feel the depths of pain caused by sin. I no longer have to see myself as a victim because I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm a child of God who has the exact same Holy Spirit dwelling in me as Jesus had within him many many years ago. I no longer want to or need to be tied down by past hurts because I can let go of them and let God so that is what I'm going to do. Today I take a stand and through the strength, guidance and wisdom of my Heavenly Father I will be free to love and trust my husband again because I can trust that God has healed him from the inside out. I choose to trust God with my life even when it seems hopeless. I can guarantee that I will not do it perfectly but I will do my best and I know that, that is enough for my Heavenly Father because he will do the rest. Life is a funny thing you know and until you go through something seriously life altering you do not realise how much you were taking for granted. It's as if through our trials we gain wisdom, freedom, identity when we choose to lean into The Lord and we gain a new perspective on the way we were once living. The storm my marriage endured was excruciating and I would never want to re live it or wish it upon anyone else but sadly we will all endure something in our lives that stretches us. It's just a matter of how we cope with those moments when they come. If I could give you any advice at all, do not run from your storm, lean into it, go through it. Experience every emotion that comes with it. Process it and lean in towards Jesus. When you are ready you can then let go but know that God is in control. Know that you will never be the same you as you left behind before the storm but you can be a better version of yourself if you put in the time, patience and endurance. 

May God watch over every single on of you and help you on this journey to be more like Christ. 

God Bless, 

Freedom comes with forgiveness

When God shows you favour...

Have you ever experienced extreme storms in your life and during that storm you've leant in closer to our amazing creator to then only be shown unmerited favour? Well, I can say that 6 months ago I would have never thought he would bother to bless me ever again since my marriage was in the biggest mess it could possibly be in. As I sit here and look back on the blessings in my life during this past year of trials I'm starting to clearly see where Gods hand has been. I can honestly say before today it has been quite difficult to see any such blessings because the pain and suffering was blocking my view however, today there is a little light shining through. 

Heavenly Father, I just want to thank you for always being in control of our lives and always having a plan beyond our own thought restrictions. I thank you for salvaging my marriage from the depths of hell and I thank you that in your word we will receive double for our trouble. I'm learning to trust you and to trust that this time of discipline is for my benefit. I want to thank you for blessing me with my husband and helping me to be more like you during our trials together. I thank you for the growth I'm seeing so clearly in him and I thank you for beginning to remove the "hurt scales" from my eyes so that I can see the man I love so clearly as well as myself being your beautiful blessed daughter. I also want to thank you for never leaving me, nor forsaking me and having a plan to see me prosper beyond my wildest dreams just as long as I keep relying on you. I'm sorry for the times I try to take control of the reins time and time again but I thank you that you do not get angry with me and stay by my side whilst walking me through it. I thank you for blessing us with this new and wonderful adventure we are currently on and that you answer even the smallest of requests. You continue to amaze me and you do it so quietly that I could easily miss your blessings if I don't keep my eyes and heart focused on you. Thank you for bringing this awareness to my heart. I love you daddy in Jesus name, Amen!

As you can see I've just had a significant revelation so I had to take the time to acknowledge that. Thank you Jesus!

May God Bless You All,

Growth beyond measure!

Life As We Know It

It has been quite sometime since I have written a blog and as I have a few spare minutes I thought I would update you all out there. So, we officially moved interstate to a very remote indigenous community as we felt God was leading us in this direction with many obvious hints along the way. I gained employment out here prior to leaving our home and it has been a once in a lifetime opportunity. My husband joined me 3 weeks later after my arrival as he had to finish up with work, house and getting every thing squared away. We have been back together for a month now and I have been here for almost 2 months, wow time flys. 

So, what can I tell you about this amazing, remote place? Well, first of all there are approximately 3000 people currently living here and of that 3000 only 300 are non-indigenous. For a change I'm part of the minority and honestly I quite like it that way! We have access to basic shops and we access them generally by foot. The main language spoken here is murrinh-patha which my husband and I are very interested in learning. We have learnt a few basic, key words but plan to extend on it. We are really enjoying getting to know the people and their unique culture. I can say that this experience  has been a huge eye opener for me. It truly puts something's in life into perspective. It has made me realise just how much we as westerners take for granted. 

All though I'm still struggling with parts of the past and at times losing sleep over it all, I realise it is the enemy attacking my mind because he truly doesn't want to see God succeed but we are praying and believing for our huge miracle so that we can finally be free from the hurt and pain once and for all. Our home life has had some seriously rough moments but we just love it out here and I'm settled in my soul that this is where we are meant to be. This is home and we are relying on God for our breakthrough. We are staying quite busy now which is keeping my mind occupied which doesn't leave room for the enemy as much which is great. We are staying strong together and we are definitely enjoying each other's company as we work together too, which we just love. Out here there is only a Catholic Church and all though we have visited just to experience it, we don't feel it's the right place for us as non denominational or closest to Pentecostal believer and followers as we are so we do church at home by reading the bible together, daily devotionals and podcasts so that has been a great help. 

All in all we are loving it out here and still just finding our feet but it's coming into wet season now so this will be interesting also. Well that's it for now so I will keep you posted when I get the chance.

God Bless, 

Missionary in the making!! 

One Year To Date

September 15th 2013. A year ago to date my life was flipped upside down and inside out. As I sit and reflect on the hardest year of my life, grieving all that was lost and thinking of my Heavenly Father who truly has sustained me, picked me up when I couldn't stand and held me tightly during many sleepless nights I just want to use this time to truly thank God for loving me so much. My marriage has gone through one of the biggest tests I could imagine and yet here we are a year after confession still in this partnership. All though distance is currently between us due to work we are both feeling the depths of the pain caused and realise just how blessed we are to even be in this fight together. 

Today for me, has a double meaning to it because in one hand it's my husbands day of freedom. To never be trapped ever again. In the other hand it's where what I thought was a beautiful life and marriage with general bumps in the road became something unrecognisable. Today I'm going to let the pain be as real as it is and the victory as real as that is as well. It's all in Gods hands and honestly who else's hands would I rather it be in!?! He is the creator of all, they are some pretty safe hands to entrust it too I recon. 

Life will continue to go on and one day very soon I hope there will not be a sting to this chapter of our lives. God has big plans for us which he has already put us on the path to helping the less fortunate. I know deep down that I will be okay, we will be okay but for now I'm just going to BE.... 

I pray for all the marriages going through something, their very own trials. May you trust God with all of it, surrender it to him and ask him to come in heal and restore the broken parts. He already knows what you need, he's just waiting to hear from you. He loves you so much he sent his only son to die for all of us. Isn't that amazing!!! 

God Bless you all, 

Broken hearts become healed hearts!

Update

Hi folks, sorry I've gone quiet lately. Just working on the house. Getting the painting completed and tidying up the yards. A quick update, we have a few people looking at the house on Saturday the 17th of August so the coming week will be in preparation for the open inspection. Our plans are still to go on our working holiday so this is looking promising. God is at the centre of all of it and its in his hands. 

I hope all my readers out there are doing well and I realise what may have drawn you to my blog posts was that it was based on Gods miracles in my life and the marital healing that is taking place. My husband and I are struggling a little at the moment and I believe we are being attacked on a spiritual level by the enemy because he doesn't like when we grow closer to God and one another. We've been taking communion for about a week and a half now so ill keep you posted but I'm learning to trust God through all seasons of my life and know that he has our best interest at heart. 

God Bless,

Work In Progress